


Per Sempre Insieme

by blood_red_like_roses



Category: The Borgias, The Borgias (Showtime TV), The Borgias (Showtime TV) RPF
Genre: Ancient Rome, Canonical Character Death, Consensual Underage Sex, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Long-Term Relationship(s), Loss of Virginity, Middle Ages, Original Character(s), Religion, Sex, Slow Build, Unplanned Pregnancy, Virginity, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:48:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28566465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blood_red_like_roses/pseuds/blood_red_like_roses
Summary: Stefania Orsini is the niece of Orsino Orisini, and the childhood best friend of Cesare and Lucrezia Borgia. After the death of her parents at age 10, Stefania returned to Rome to live with her uncle, but hadn’t been given the rights to see her friends, as Orsino was very controlling over his niece and kept her locked away. Having not started her monthly blood until age 12, Orsino was too enveloped with the papacy to find her a husband. At fourteen, she receives a letter from Cesare Borgia asking her to help him secure the papacy for his father, since he knew her life would be even more miserable with Orsino as pope…(This follows the more fictional events of The Borgias show rather than the accuracy of the historical events)
Relationships: Cesare Borgia/Charlotte d'Albret, Cesare Borgia/Original Female Character, Juan Borgia/Sancia d'Aragon, Lucrezia Borgia/Giovanni Sforza, Lucrezia Borgia/Paolo, Rodrigo Borgia | Pope Alexander VI/Giulia Farnese, Ursula Bonadeo/Cesare Borgia
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	1. Ritrovato (Found Again)

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! Please leave a comment or a kudos if you enjoyed! This is going to be a long fic with multiple chapters. Each chapter represents an episode of the show (unless otherwise stated). I hope you enjoy my little quarantine project! I intend on updating this as often as I possibly can!
> 
> Thank you for your support!

𝒟𝑒𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝒮𝓉𝑒𝒻𝒶𝓃𝒾𝒶 𝒪𝓇𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒾,

𝐻𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓇. 𝐼 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓁𝓎 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓁𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁, 𝑜𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓉 𝒶𝓁𝓁. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒸𝒽𝑜𝓈𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝑜 𝒾𝑔𝓃𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓈𝑒 𝓎𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝒶𝓇𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓊𝓃𝒸𝓁𝑒. 𝑅𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇, 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝓇𝓊𝓉𝒽 𝒾𝓈 𝒸𝑒𝓇𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓊𝓃𝒸𝓁𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝑒𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓌𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓊𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝑜𝓇𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓅𝑜𝓃𝒹, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝒽𝑒𝓁𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓁𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒶𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓂𝓅𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓈𝑒 𝓅𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝓎𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈. 𝐻𝑒 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝓈𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝓂𝑒 𝒶𝓌𝒶𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝓊𝓁𝓉𝒾𝓅𝓁𝑒 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓈 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝓇𝒾𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓈𝑒𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊. 𝐼’𝓂 𝑜𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝑒𝓍𝓅𝓁𝒶𝒾𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝐼 𝒹𝑜 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓌𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝒽𝑜𝓁𝒹 𝒾𝓁𝓁-𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓉 𝓂𝑒, 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝓇𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓈𝑒 𝓎𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈, 𝓂𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝑔𝓇𝒾𝓃 𝑜𝒻 𝒞𝒶𝓇𝒹𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝒪𝓇𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒾. 𝒜𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓅𝒶𝓅𝒶𝒸𝓎 𝒾𝓈 𝓊𝓅 𝑜𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒. 𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓊𝓃𝒸𝓁𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝓊𝓃𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒷𝑒 𝒾𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓁 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝑒𝑒 𝒶 𝐵𝑜𝓇𝑔𝒾𝒶 𝓅𝑜𝓅𝑒. 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓁𝓎 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 ‘𝒰𝓃𝒸𝓁𝑒 𝑅𝑜𝒹𝓇𝒾𝑔𝑜’ 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊. 𝐻𝑒 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝒽𝓊𝓇𝒸𝒽 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒. 

𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹𝓃’𝓉 𝓈𝑒𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒾𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓊𝓃𝒸𝓁𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓅𝑜𝓅𝑒, 𝑔𝒾𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓀 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊. 

𝑀𝓎 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓇, 𝒾𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓅 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝐵𝑜𝓇𝑔𝒾𝒶 𝓅𝒶𝓅𝒶𝒸𝓎, 𝓅𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝒶𝓃𝓉𝓈 𝒽𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒹𝑒𝓁𝒾𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓇𝑒𝓅𝓁𝓎. 𝐼𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓅, 𝐼 𝒹𝑜 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒽𝑜𝓁𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝓌𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝓈𝓉, 𝑜𝓁𝒹 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹. 𝒫𝑒𝓇𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓈 𝓌𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒷𝑒 𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝑜𝓇𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓅𝑜𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃, 𝓇𝑒𝑔𝒶𝓇𝒹𝓁𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓊𝓃𝒸𝓁𝑒’𝓈 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇𝒻𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒. 

𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝒹, 𝒞𝑒𝓈𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝐵𝑜𝓇𝑔𝒾𝒶

“This came this morning, Gia?” I asked, setting the letter down on my table. I sat in the courtyard, enjoying my newfound freedom as my uncle was indisposed at St. Peters.   
None of the cardinals were allowed to leave, so Orsino Orsini couldn’t wreak havoc here at the palace.  
It was peaceful. Nobody was here to prevent me from living my life, and doing as I pleased. 

“Yes, Lady Orsini. Hand delivered by a representative of the Borgia family.” 

I sipped my tea and sighed. How wonderful was it that Uncle Rodrigo was trying to get the papacy. I would see him as pope, and if not him, then perhaps Cardinal Sforza, the kindest of the Cardinals that I had the pleasure of meeting. Then again, perhaps I only favored him because he was one of the few Cardinals my uncle had allowed me to meet.  
I had no idea that my dear friend had been trying to contact me since my parent’s death. Uncle really hated the Borgia family, so it came as no surprise that Cesare had been attempting to contact me, and Uncle had simply been turning him away, as well as throwing out the letters from Cesare. 

I had assumed that Cesare was simply too busy over the years to keep correspondence with me. He was three years older, and therefore had to mature faster than I had.   
I felt a sense of importance. A sense of love. Cesare saw this opportunity, as my uncle was indisposed, and grabbed it. Even if he was just seeking out my help, it was still nice to be able to talk with him again. 

“Gia, please bring me a candle.” I said mindlessly, looking over the letter again. 

My life was… Boring. Mindless. Uncle gave no care to me or my life. To him, I was a leech; a burden on his life that he felt obliged to take in, simply because he was a man of the cloth and it would be seen as disrespectful if he did not take in his orphaned niece.   
Therefore, as I watched the letter burn before my eyes, I made a plan that I would indeed help the Borgias win the papacy. 

Aside from my childhood allegiance for them, Cesare was right; I would not see my uncle become pope, lest I be thrown out onto the streets and made to be a whore of Rome; Uncle’s ultimate wish. 

“Writing utensils and parchment, please, Gia. And some privacy. You may take my things.” I said, having the servants clear off my table as Gia fetched my stationary supplies. 

𝓜𝔂 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓒𝓮𝓼𝓪𝓻𝓮, 

𝓜𝔂 𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓰𝓲𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓗𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓑𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓲𝓪. 𝓞𝓻𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓸 𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓼𝓮𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓪𝓹𝓪𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓮, 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓪 𝓶𝓪𝓷 𝓸𝓯 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓬𝓻𝓾𝓮𝓵𝓽𝔂 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷 𝓼𝓮𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓬𝓵𝓸𝓽𝓱. 

𝓟𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓵𝓮𝓽 𝓶𝓮 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓘 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓭𝓸 𝓽𝓸 𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓹. 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓸𝓷𝓵𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓘 𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓫𝓾𝓽𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓲𝓼 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓼 - 𝓜𝔂 𝓾𝓷𝓬𝓵𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓲𝓽 𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓪𝓬𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓶𝔂 𝓯𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓵𝔂’𝓼 𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓮, 𝓻𝓮𝓰𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓲𝓯 𝓘 𝓪𝓶 𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓽𝓵𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓲𝓽. 

𝓘 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾, 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓒𝓮𝓼𝓪𝓻𝓮. 𝓘𝓽 𝓱𝓪𝓼 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓽𝓸𝓸 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝔀𝓮’𝓿𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓮𝓮 𝓮𝓪𝓬𝓱 𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻, 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓪𝓾𝓵𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓮𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓾𝓼. 𝓤𝓷𝓬𝓵𝓮 𝓞𝓻𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓸 𝓴𝓮𝓮𝓹𝓼 𝓶𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓭 𝓪𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓪 𝓫𝓲𝓻𝓭 𝓲𝓷 𝓪 𝓬𝓪𝓰𝓮, 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓭𝓸 𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂 𝓸𝔀𝓷 𝓿𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓭. 

𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓭 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭, 

𝓢𝓽𝓮𝓯𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓪 𝓞𝓻𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓲

“Tell me, Gia, who of this house can I trust more than you?”   
My handmaid shrugged. “My lady, it would bring me great pleasure to deliver this message for you. Upon all that is holy, I swear I shan’t look at the contents of your letter.”  
I nodded. “Then it is to your hands that I entrust this letter to. Listen to Lord Borgia’s instructions, and report to me what you hear.”  
“Yes, my lady.” 

I found a new sense of freedom that afternoon while I waited for Gia to return. The sky felt lighter, the birds sang louder, and the food tasted better (though this was only natural because uncle got the best food, while I was prepared a separate, lesser meal; in his absence, I was waited on hand and foot).   
It made me more than happy to now have Cesare back in my life, and to have someone actively working against my uncle. Orsino did not deserve the papal cloth. 

It was almost time for the evening meal when Gia returned. The sky had grown darker, and the soft colors of evening were painting the horizon as I sat in the courtyard, reading a book from uncle’s study.

“Lady Orsini, the Lord Cesare Borgia is here.” 

I immediately looked over to the sound of Gia, and saw an older, more mature Cesare standing next to her. 

“Oh, how blessed am I that you make your appearance here?” I cheered, getting up from my chair and running over to Cesare, who took me in a long hug. “My handmaid is trustful, you know,” I joked when he released me from the hug, “You needn’t come all this way yourself.”  
“Oh, my little dove, you’ve grown so much, I wanted to see the Orsini prisoner for myself.” 

_Little dove._ It was his childhood nickname for me. It had been years since I had heard that name addressed to me, and it sounded like the fairest song dancing upon my ears. 

“Gia, please set a place for Lord Borgia at the table. He is our honored guest tonight.”  
“Yes, Lady Orsini.” 

  
“Dearest Stefania, you don’t need to include me in your evening meal.” Cesare sighed as he took my arm in his and we began to walk around the courtyard together.   
“Cesare, it is my pleasure to. Not that uncle is great company, but it gets rather lonely at mealtimes without another guest. Gia has been made a lady these past days, as I allow her and the other handmaids to eat with me so I am not alone. Uncle would have a fit.”  
Cesare laughed his great, booming laugh. “I’d wager your uncle would drop dead should he walk in here and see you sharing a table with your handmaids.”  
“Shall we have our meal and then discuss the matters at hand privately afterwards? I would very much like to catch up on lost years.” I offered.   
“Little dove, that is the best way I can think to spend this evening. 

The meal we shared together reminded me all too much of the meals we used to share as children. My parents were great friends of the Borgia family, so it was not uncommon to share meals with them three or four times a week. Cesare always sat attentively between Lucrezia and I, shielding us from his brother, Juan’s, incessant annoyances.   
But this meal was better, for it was just Cesare and I sitting together, talking of all our antics (or rather his antics, and my captivity) over the years. 

We relocated to the library, without the presence of the servants, to have our private discussion over uncle’s hidden wine stash. 

“So, what can I do to help ensure the Borgia papacy?” I asked, pouring Cesare a glass of wine before sitting next to him on the sofa.   
“I would see you accompany my brother, Juan, to clear the Borgia churches of their riches. A firm woman like yourself would ensure that Juan doesn’t skim a little off the top.”  
I smiled. “I’m glad you revere me to such a degree, but must I go with your petulant brother? It cannot be you and I?”   
Cesare laughed and took a sip of his wine. “Unfortunately, I must stay back and wait to hear from my father with whom I am in correspondence with to secure the papacy.”  
I nodded. “And your father will absolve our sins of bribery and simony once he secures the throne?”   
A grin. “Of course. The Borgias, and Lady Orsini, shall be the first to enter the confessional of His Holiness.” 

I didn’t quite know how I felt about being alone with Juan and his servants for such a time. He took great pleasure in annoying Lucrezia and I whilst in our childhood, and I could only assume that he would have grown to be more petulant in my absence. 

“Then out of loyalty to you and my ‘uncle’ Rodrigo, I shall accompany Juan across the country side, and bring back the riches of the church.” I replied, after pondering the subject for a while.   
“I’m so happy to hear that, little dove. Juan will be here before first light tomorrow. Have your stable boys saddle up a fast but hearty horse, as there will be cargo to carry.” 

I nodded, happy that I could make Cesare happy, even if it meant a little bit of a personal sacrifice to my wellbeing. It was only a day at the most that I would have to spend with Juan, anyway. 

We finished our wine before I saw Cesare off, giving yet another loving and long embrace to him before he left. 

I had Gia instruct the stable boys to prepare Cosmo, my most beloved horse, to be ready to ride within the night. 

“Gia, I would have you cover for me in my absence. If anyone comes looking for me within the next few days, please inform them that I am indisposed and not to take any visitors until my uncle returns home. Nobody needs to know that I am not present in the palace of my family.” 

I didn’t know what I would do without Gia. She had been with me in the house of my parents, and followed to serve me in the house of my uncle. Even with the amount of trust I had for Cesare, nothing could compare to the amount of trust I had for my handmaid.

Gia woke me in the middle of the night, announcing that Juan Borgia was waiting for me by the stables. She quickly got me ready and escorted me out to where the stable boys were waiting with Cosmo. 

“Having a good sleep, sis?” Juan called from atop his horse.  
“It was until your arrival.” I teased with a yawn while being hoisted onto my horse.   
“I should hope that your riding skills have gotten better over the years; I have not forgotten the many times we went riding together, only to have it end with you falling off and crying for your mother.”   
I rolled my eyes. “I have been a prisoner, Juan! There was nothing to do but practice _everything_.” 

Both of our statements were true. The horses used to scare me; when I was left to ride on my own, my horse would almost always get spooked and throw me off. I always opted to ride with Cesare, if he were with us.   
But since I had no volition of my own while being a ward of my uncle, he hurled some insults at me before vowing to make me a ‘better woman’ and allowing for me to have a tutor for riding. 

Juan and I rode through the countryside towards the properties that the Borgia’s owned. 

“Father has already given away abbeys and monasteries, but to no avail. He still doesn’t have enough votes.” Juan pouted as the servants and I packed away the Borgia riches. Of course, he sat back, indulging in the wine supplied by the abbey.   
“It is never enough for them. Those who speak against greed are often the most greedy.” I sighed, packing another bag onto Cosmo.   
“I suppose some of these riches will be headed to your palace?” Juan inquired. 

I shook my head. “Cesare would be a fool to try to win over my uncle. Uncle hates your father, and would see to any other cardinal winning the papacy than Rodrigo. No amount of properties or jewels could change the hate in his heart.”

We continued on our journey, finally arriving in Rome at the next nightfall, with nine donkeys and two horses loaded with the Borgia jewels. 

“Truly, this will win the papacy for your father, will it not?” I asked Cesare as he dealt out which items would go to which cardinal.   
“Little dove, I surely hope it will. I don’t want your help to be for nothing.”  
“Neither do I, though it is nice to see that Juan has matured… Slightly.” I joked as we watched Juan berate the servants. 

I stayed in Cesare’s company before Gia arrived to escort me home. 

“Before you leave, my dear, allow me to bestow upon you a gift from the Borgia house,” I was surprised as Cesare retrieved a ruby necklace from his pocket, “For your hard work and dedication. And to hopefully see you more often.” 

Chills were sent down my spine as Cesare placed the necklace around my neck, and lightly traced his fingers across my throat. 

“We certainly must. Goodnight, Cesare.” I said with a soft grin and a fire in my lower abdomen.

“Goodnight, my little dove.”   
  


The church bells could be heard all over Rome, but it didn’t hurt that I was watching the sunset from my balcony, allowing me to hear the bells in their full grace.

“A new pope has been chosen, Gia.” I commented, walking back into my room where Gia was drawing me a bath for the night.   
“And to whom do you think the papacy went to?” Gia asked.   
I sat on my bed and smiled at her. “To whom, I know not. But I would wager that the lord of the house will be back by tomorrow afternoon.” 

And to that I was right. Aside from the horses pulling up to our house, uncle completely trashed our entryway in his anger. 

“A Spanish pope? A Borgia pope to poison the very throne of Christendom? I cannot believe my eyes.” 

I stood in the doorway, watching my uncle destroy things in anger. 

“The very nerve that he should commit simony and bribery, and merely absolve his own sins. He _bought_ that throne, he did not win it!”

_Crash_. A vase from my mother’s mother’s house. 

“But you said it yourself, the pope might make you his vice-chancellor.” 

Uncle scoffed. “After Della Rovere and I, amongst our brothers, accused him of simony? Only withdrawing our statements _after_ he called us the frontrunners for the position? No… I’d presume the position shall not go to me… Or Della Rovere.” 

“He would be lucky to have you at his right hand, uncle.” I said. 

_Wack_. I hadn’t anticipated a book to be thrown at me.

“Foolish girl. You know nothing of the politics of a church, and you never will, because you are a _woman_.” 

_Wack. Wack. Wack_. 

“Uncle, please stop.” I said, tears threatening to spill down my cheeks as my uncle began to direct his anger towards me.

“I bet you had a part in this, you wench! Did you pray that your uncle should not see the throne? Did you pray that the filthy Spaniard cardinal would be made pope?”  
“No, uncle, I did not! I do not pray for such things!” I cried as my uncle took an Orsini cane from the wall and began beating me with it.   
“You stupid, insolent, whore! I should throw you out onto the streets where you belong!”  
“Please, uncle! Please, stop!” I screamed as the beatings crossed my arms and back.   
“I shall have you married off as soon as I gain the position of vice-chancellor, lest I throw you out before then!” 

How convenient of my uncle to throw a banquet for the new pope merely a week after beating me to unconsciousness. 

“Don’t worry, Lady Orsini, your bruises will not be that noticeable whilst everybody enjoys the feast that your uncle has provided.”

Gia slipped me into my evening gown, and I glanced over the numerous black and blue marks that lined my arm.   
In the mirror, I could see the dark bruises, some fading, others extremely dark and broken, in the cut of my gown.   
“I am ugly, Gia. I am damaged.” I said, wiping away a single tear that dared spill from my eyes.   
“My lady! Don’t say such things! You are most beautiful. There will be no suitors tonight; only the consistory of the cardinals, and the Holy Father, and I do believe Cesare Borgia will be there as well.”

_Cesare Borgia_. I would look ugly to Cesare. I would be the only woman at the table… And I would be ugly. 

“My lady, unless you wish to die of the heat, this is probably the best gown you own to cover your bruises.” Gia said sadly.   
“I shall wear this gown, then, and I shall go and do my duty as the ward of my uncle… But I will not give in to any of their gossip. They will believe everything else before they believe my uncle did this to me.” 

I put on the happiest face that I could, and went down with Gia to greet the guests of our household. One by one they came, and I gave each one a vague greeting, but I perked up when I saw the Borgia carriage arrive. 

“Holy Father! Lord Borgia! How wonderful that your presence graces the palace of Orsini.” I greeted, approaching them. Cesare allowed me to pay my respects to His Holiness before he enveloped me in a strong hug, and asked me to walk with him as His Holiness went to converse with the other cardinals.

“Stefania, pray tell who dares stain the skin of my little dove?” He asked once we were in a hallway alone.   
Cesare looked dashing in his bishop’s robes; a true prince of the church. And here I stood, as he bore witness to the ugliness of my injuries.   
“‘Tis in the past, my dearest. We needn’t worry about who stains my skin. What we do need to worry about, though, is why you’ve deemed it necessary to bring a monkey to my uncle’s dinner?” 

I had barely gotten a few chuckles in before Cesare pushed me against the wall gently, and drew in close. 

“My love, tell me who did this to you. It was your uncle, wasn’t it? Was this because he was not chosen to be vice-chancellor?”   
I shook my head. “T’was my uncle, yes, but it was because he lost the papacy. He was angered in the moment, and I suppose my words did me no good.”

Cesare seemed to growl under his breath. 

“Cesare,” I placed my hand on his arm and brought him closer to me, “It is okay. I shall be married off soon, and I will not be subject to my uncle’s wrath any longer.” 

He sighed, and released me from my position against the wall. 

“Come, little dove, let the cardinals talk. I will not allow you to sit next to your wretched uncle.” 

It was truly a scandal for me to sit next to a bishop at dinner. I could hear the insults being muttered by my uncle to the cardinals who sat next to him. Still, I felt at peace as Cesare’s hand caressed mine.  
After he allowed for his monkey to taste the wine being served, Cesare disappeared, and I was at the mercy of the men around me. Naturally, I was barred from any conversation, so I merely ate my food and waited for Cesare to return. 

To my surprise, it was Gia who found my side first. 

“Lady Orsini, as your loyal handmaid, I’m obliged to inform you of some information I have just heard. Come.” Gia led me out of the banquet room and into a hallway, then into a closet for further privacy. 

“Your uncle was going to have the pope poisoned with wine.”   
I gasped aloud. The monkey. That was the purpose of Cesare’s little guest. Yet, the monkey had lived… “But the pope lives. He sits no more than one space away from me at the table.”   
Gia nodded. “Because Lord Borgia found the cook who intended to poison him, and instead paid him to poison your uncle!”  
I gasped again. “Why do you tell me such information?”  
“My lady, you can stop your uncle from consuming the poison! You are his niece!” 

My heart grew heavy, and I felt nausea setting in. I was the one who would either allow my uncle to live… Or die.   
I’m not sure what it was that quite solidified my answer. It might have been the years of abuse weighing on me. Or the recent evidence of such abuse that stained my skin. Or the feeling of wanting to protect Cesare and the Borgia throne. 

“Gia, I am going to leave this closet and forget that we ever had this conversation. And you are to do the same.” I said firmly, before yanking open the door and walking back out into the hallway. At the same time as I returned with Gia, Cesare was just taking his seat, and was looking at me with wild eyes, as if he knew that I _knew_. I gave him a quick nod before returning to my seat and gripping my wine glass. 

“The same wine better not have been served to _both_ Orsini’s.” I said under my breath as Della Rovere was proposing a toast.   
“I wouldn’t dare.” Cesare replied. 

It set in quick. It was soon that my uncle was choking and struggling to breath. I rushed over to help whilst Cesare took his father away. 

“All of the cooks in the kitchen are to be fired. I will not have someone so easily bought to end my uncle’s life reside in this house any longer.” I commanded as I sat with my uncle’s body. I managed to conjure up a few tears to help me with my cause. 

Oh Cesare…. You better know the dark arts with which you dabble. 

  
  



	2. Vincere E Perdere (Win and Lose)

𝑀𝓎 𝐿𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒟𝑜𝓋𝑒, 

𝐼 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓁𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁. 𝐼 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝒾𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒪𝓇𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒾 𝒫𝒶𝓁𝒶𝒸𝑒, 𝐼 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓋𝒾𝓈𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉. 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓈𝓅𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝒻𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝓀𝑒𝑒𝓅 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓅𝒶𝓁𝒶𝒸𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒪𝓇𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒾 𝓃𝒶𝓂𝑒, 𝓈𝑜 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒷𝑜𝓉𝒽 𝑜𝓊𝓉𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓈𝒾𝓉𝓊𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃.

𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝓌𝓇𝒾𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝑜𝒻 𝒶 𝓅𝓁𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓈𝓅𝒾𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓊𝓃𝒸𝓁𝑒’𝓈 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒽. 𝒜 𝓅𝓁𝑜𝓉 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝐻𝑜𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝐵𝑜𝓇𝑔𝒾𝒶. 𝒜𝓈𝒾𝒹𝑒 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓂𝓅𝓉 𝑜𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝒻𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇’𝓈 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒, 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓊𝓃𝒸𝓁𝑒 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓃𝓃𝑒𝒹 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝓊𝓇𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝒱𝒶𝓃𝓃𝑜𝓏𝓏𝒶, 𝐿𝓊𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓏𝒾𝒶, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝑜𝓈𝓉 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒𝓁𝓎 𝒥𝑜𝒻𝒻𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁. 

𝐻𝑜𝓌 𝒹𝑒𝓅𝓁𝑜𝓇𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓊𝓃𝒸𝓁𝑒. 𝐻𝑜𝓌 𝓊𝓃𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒶 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝒹𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝑜𝒻 𝒽𝒾𝓂. 𝒲𝑒 𝓂𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒷𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀𝒻𝓊𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒽𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝓁𝑜𝓉𝒽 𝒶𝓃𝓎𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒, 𝑜𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁𝓂. 

𝐿𝑜𝑜𝓀 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓂𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉. 𝐼 𝓈𝒽𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝒹𝑜 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝓉𝑜 𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝓀𝑒𝑒𝓅 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓊𝓃𝒸𝓁𝑒’𝓈 𝓅𝒶𝓁𝒶𝒸𝑒. 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝒹𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝒶 𝓅𝑜𝓌𝑒𝓇𝒻𝓊𝓁 𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝐵𝑜𝓇𝑔𝒾𝒶 𝐹𝒶𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓎. 𝒲𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓈𝑒𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒾𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒𝓃 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝑜𝒻. 

𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝒹, 

𝒞𝑒𝓈𝒶𝓇𝑒

“Even with the pope’s help, I fear that I may not be able to keep the palace.” I sighed, tossing the letter to Gia so that she could read it.   
“My lady, the pope holds so much power. Surely with your friendship you could secure the palace for yourself? You are the trusted Orsini, are you not?” 

The line between servant and lady had been blurred. Gia was taking on more of a friend like appearance than as my handmaid. She still assisted me in my everyday life, but at meal times and times of relaxation, she was there to be my friend. 

And we were bound by blood now, with the death of my uncle that we both permitted. 

“Regardless, I must prove to the courts that I can care for this palace. Even if I am a woman. Even if I am as young as I am. And unmarried.”

It seemed like the odds were stacked against me. The Orsini name was now a stain on Rome, and I was sickened that I had to carry that with me.

_ “Orsino Orsini. The man whose household tried to rid the world of the Borgia pope.” _

Sleep fled from me, and I found myself awake at all hours of the night wondering what would be happening to me now that my uncle was gone.   
Sometimes I wondered if it was even the right decision to allow him to consume the poison. 

It wasn’t until I went to the courts that I knew I had made the right decision. 

“We simply cannot allow a woman of fourteen, and an unmarried woman at that, be in charge of an entire palace. It isn’t right.”

The end was coming. I knew that for a fact. I would be sent to a convent and made to live out the rest of my days as a chaste nun. 

“As the pope decrees it, we must obey.” 

I opened one eye that I had been squeezing shut in anxiety. As the pope decrees what?

“Stefania Orsini, by order of Pope Alexander Sixtus, you are hereby granted the property of Orsino Orsini, with his palace and his estate in its entirety.”

A weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I couldn’t believe that the property had actually been given to me. I had to be the youngest landowner in Rome. Certainly the youngest woman to legally own her land. 

It was a grand night at the Orsini palace as I celebrated with my staff. They all became honest and told me of how they despised my uncle, and I promised them all that I would treat them more fairly than my uncle did. 

“I intend to be frugal. I don’t need the lavishes and luxuries that my uncle had.” I explained to Gia as she dressed me for bed.   
“You’ve already done a great service by allowing me to serve you in the ways that I do, my lady. The fact that you consider me a friend and allow me to eat at the same table as you is quite wonderful.”  
I scoffed. “You are a friend, Gia. A most loyal and a most kind friend. I would see you follow me everywhere, regardless of location and marriage. Would that be okay?”   
Gia nodded profusely as she began to braid my hair. “It would be more than okay, my lady. I have been with you since you were a young child, and I intend to be with you until my death, or until your dismissal of me.”   
“Then death it is, for I shall never dismiss you.” I said as I got into my bed. 

“Then death it is.”

\-----

Cesare kept his promise, and came towards the end of the fortnight period of which he said he would. 

“Something is wrong…” I commented as we walked through the gardens.   
“Why do you think so, my dove?”   
“You just aren’t yourself today… Has the plot against your family shaken you that bad? You know the House of Borgia is always welcome here.” 

It was true. Everything.  
I had known Cesare for long enough to know that something was wrong with him. He didn’t act differently; to the untrained eye… But to me, I could see that there were certain nuances about him.   
It was also true that the Borgias were always welcome here. I had an abundance of bedrooms for them, and an abundance of staff that would care for their every whim. 

“No, my dear, ‘tis not the plot against my family that bothers me… My sister, Lucrezia… She is to be married soon.”   
I gasped. Lucrezia was only a few months older than I was.   
“No doubt your father is only doing this to gain allies.” I sighed, holding on to Cesare’s arm to steady myself. 

Lucrezia was more innocent than I. She had lived the palace lifestyle for her entire life, being cared for lovingly by her mother and father. I had been hardened by the years of abuse at the hand of my uncle. I didn’t find myself pure anymore. But Lucrezia was the very appearance of purity and innocence.

“He’s doing many things to gain allies… Or at least to get ears to listen on his behalf.” 

This caught me off guard again, and I looked up to see a longing look on Cesare’s face. 

“And what has he done to you, my beloved?” I questioned.   
Cesare drew in a deep breath. “I am to be made a cardinal. My father decreed that there will be thirteen new cardinals… And I will be one of them.”  
I exhaled, shocked. “So the Bishop of Valencia becomes… Cardinal Borgia, son of Pope Alexander Sixtus.”   
Cesare brought us over to a bench in a secluded part of the garden where he brought me in for a close hug.   
“And if the college of cardinals didn’t all already hate my father… They certainly hate him now.”   
I stroked his hair softly as he kept me wrapped in a hug. “My beloved, I am so sorry. The power of the papacy has gone to his head… But you knew this was going to happen, didn’t you? You’ve always been a prince of the church.”  
Cesare sighed and released the hug before looking at me and nodding. “Juan is to be made gonfaloniere, and lead the papal armies.” 

A crushing blow. Cesare was always the most interested in commanding the armies. Surely jealousy was coursing through his veins. 

“Oh, my beloved, I am so sorry. I know you, Cesare Borgia, and I know that even if it’s the job you do not want to do, you will still do a good job at it.”   
He smiled softly. “Thank you for your confidence, my little dove.”

He gripped my hands and kissed them while looking into my eyes. 

Handsome Cesare. Cardinal Cesare. I was enamored with my friend. The years had been especially kind to him. 

I was so deep into my thoughts that I hadn’t even realized that his hand had traveled to the back of my head, and had drawn me in for a kiss. Not a kiss of friends, but  _ a kiss _ . The kiss I had been waiting for since I was a child.   
I kissed him back passionately, moaning softly as he gripped my hair with his hands, stinging my scalp, and drew me against him so that our bodies were pressed up against each other.

So, needless to say, I was quite surprised when he suddenly broke out of the kiss and leapt from the bench. 

“Lord Borgia, I’m so sorry.” I apologized frantically, tucking the loose strands of hair that he had pulled out back into my braid.   
“Stefania, don’t apologize… It’s my own fault… I cannot do this to you when I am to be a man of the cloth.”

I sighed. He couldn’t do it to  _ me _ , but there would surely be other women. I wasn’t dumb; Cesare was a man of many lovers. He couldn’t stay celibate, even if he was a man of the cloth. So there would be others, others who got more than a passionate kiss from him… But there would not be me. 

“I understand,” I said, smoothing out my dress and standing up from the bench, “Please wish Lucrezia the best for me. And I wish you well in your endeavors as a cardinal.”   
Cesare grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him.   
“You are still my beloved little dove. I shall not lose you over this decision, Stefania. You are an honorary Borgia, and you shall remain as such.”

I looked into his eyes, and found nothing but genuine hope that I would remain by his side.   
I conceded, but only as to not lose my friend. The anger and jealous feelings did not withdraw from my heart, and I found myself crying to Gia later on in the night. 

“My lady,” Gia cooed as she ran a brush through my hair before handing me a handkerchief, “At least we know he cannot legally marry as long as he’s in the cloth. He’ll just take a mistress or two.”   
“Or ten.” I said, crying harder. 

It was stupid of me to be angry at Cesare, because it was stupid of me to assume that I would ever be with him. 

“I think this could be a good thing, my lady.” Gia said, helping my weak and depressed body over to the bed.  
“Pray tell, Gia, what good could come of this? That I am a friend to the Borgia’s for the next few years while I reside in Rome, and then occasionally see them after I’m married?”   
Gia chuckled and gave me an exasperated sigh as she pulled my blanket up towards me. 

“Because he loves you enough to not put you in a position that would ultimately hurt you.” 

  
  



	3. Il Principe (The Prince)

𝒟𝑒𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝒮𝓉𝑒𝒻𝒶𝓃𝒾𝒶, 

𝐼 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁. 𝐼 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒾𝓃𝓋𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝑒𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝒶 𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓊𝓈. 𝒫𝓇𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝒟𝒿𝑒𝓂 𝒾𝓈 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓊𝓈, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒷𝓇𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒮𝓊𝓁𝓉𝒶𝓃, 𝒾𝓈 𝓅𝒶𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒽𝒶𝓃𝒹𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓁𝓎, 𝒲𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒹𝑒𝑒𝓅𝓁𝓎 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒿𝑜𝒾𝓃 𝓊𝓈 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒶 𝒻𝑒𝓌 𝒹𝒶𝓎𝓈, 𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓅𝒶𝓁𝒶𝒸𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒶 𝓌𝒽𝒾𝓁𝑒. 

𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹, 

𝒞𝑒𝓈𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝐵𝑜𝓇𝑔𝒾𝒶

Even his letters had taken a more formal tone. It broke my heart to read them. I was no longer his ‘little dove’, I was simply ‘Stefania’ and he was ‘my friend’. 

Against my better judgement, and with Gia’s persistence, I sat with Lucrezia and Lady Giulia Farnese as we waited for the men to get back from the hunt.   
The Roman countryside was more than inviting to us; although we were quite spoiled with a tent full of food and servants. 

“So, Lady Orsini, I have heard that you are the woman of your house at only fourteen. Does that fair well?” Giulia inquired.  
She was nice; gentle. It was just odd that she had become the mistress of the pope, leaving poor Vannozza behind; the same Vannozza who had cared for me as a child; she was a second mother to me. 

“T’was quite intimidating in the beginning, if I’m honest. I know there is a lot of gossip going around, but I manage my household just fine. Uncle treated our staff very poorly, but I feel a renewed energy around the house now that I am in charge.”   
Giulia smiled. “I think it should be more normal for women to be the head of the household. We are more responsible than men think.” 

I held my gasp. For the pope to have such a progressive mistress was  _ odd _ . But perhaps she was only saying this aloud because she was in the presence of two young, impressionable girls. 

“I agree!” Lucrezia said, popping a few grapes into her mouth.   
I shrugged. “I suppose I must agree as well. After all, I am the one proving your point.” 

I never would have imagined myself as the head of a household, but it was easier than I expected. I was still getting my mathematics tutoring, so I knew my finances would soon be taken care of… By myself. 

Before we knew it, the men had returned on horseback, laughing and talking amongst themselves. They seemed to have a good time on their hunt. 

Cesare surprised me by sitting next to me at the table, when he very well could’ve chosen any other seat. 

“Are you enjoying your day?” He asked as we ate our midday meal.  
I nodded. “Thank you for your invite, Lord Borgia. It’s very nice to meet Djem and to be in the company of my friends.”  
Cesare frowned; an expression I was not expecting.   
“Stefania, there’s no need for formality. We are friends.”

Ah. That’s what he was upset about. 

“I know that, Cesare. You’re my senior, and a man, it’s only right that I address you as you deserve.”   
He frowned again and sighed, defeated, turning away from me and starting a conversation with Juan. 

I felt bad for being so rude to him, but I was still heartbroken. Gia repeatedly begged me before I left that morning to  _ not _ take it out on him, but here I was… Taking it out on him. 

“Lady Orsini,” an unfamiliar voice called to me, and I turned to see Prince Djem’s smiling face looking right at me, “I hear from Lady Lucrezia that you are the woman of your house. I am wondering if you can explain that to me?”  
I smiled and obliged. I was surprised to hear that it was about the same, if not more progressive in Constantinople, but there was an abundance of rules regarding wives and concubines. 

Djem, Lucrezia, and I took a walk in the Vatican gardens when we returned, and much to our pleasure, Djem continued telling us about where he came from. I made a mental note to have some books about Constantinople ordered to my palace. 

When the sun began to set, I bade farewell to Djem and Lucrezia, but promised to join them tomorrow for games and food.   
It was nice to have a newfound friendship in Djem; and to have renewed my friendship with Lucrezia. I marveled at her beauty, and felt myself feeling jealous of her golden hair. 

“It was actually very nice, Gia, and I’m glad you insisted that I went.”   
Gia grinned. “I felt your apprehension, my lady, but I knew it would turn out well. Come, let’s get you in your bath.” 

I was in the middle of washing my body when Gia suddenly came back into the washroom. It wasn’t out of the ordinary, but normally, as I grew older, Gia would draw my bath and help me in, then leave until I requested that she come back in. 

“My lady, you have a visitor.” 

I cocked my head.  _ A visitor? At this time of the evening?  
_ “Who is it?” I asked as Gia helped me out of the tub and toweled me down.   
“Lord Borgia, my lady.” 

My heart fell into my stomach. 

“As in… His Eminence Cesare Borgia?”   
Gia nodded.   
My heart fell further. Gia quickly dressed me in an evening gown and sent me down to the drawing room where Cesare was waiting. 

“Cesare? Is everything alright?” I asked.   
He nodded with a soft smile. “Sit. Have a glass of wine.” He said, motioning to the tumbler of wine that the servants had left.   
I took it, confused, but sat next to Cesare hesitantly. 

“I came to apologize, Stefania.”  
“Apologize?”  
He nodded. “You are my friend, Stefania. Arguably, you are my best friend. Certainly the longest that I’ve had. And I can’t bear to lose you because of my cardinal status, or the rules that come with it.” 

Ah. My behavior in the country certainly caused this. 

“Cesare, I… I understand that we aren’t children anymore, and we can’t always be together, we can’t always be those children kissing under the olive trees, and we can’t spend every waking moment together. I understand, I was just hurt because… Well, I didn’t think you would be assigned such a strict position.”   
Cesare nodded. “Neither did I, my little dove. But I am here, and I will always be here.” 

We stayed up talking into the late hours of the night. When I began nodding off, Cesare decided it was finally time to retire to bed. 

He carried me up to my chambers and allowed Gia to change me. I dismissed her as I left my closet, but I was surprised to see Cesare standing in the room, waiting for me. 

“If it’s not a problem, I should like to stay here for the night.”   
I smiled. “It’s no problem at all. I’ll go get Gia and have a room prepared for you.”   
“No, Stefania, I mean, I would like to  _ stay here _ for the night.” He began to remove his shirt, revealing his smooth and tanned skin, and muscular torso. 

My heart jumped up into my throat; the exact opposite of the feeling I had earlier. 

“Cesare, I-”  
“Stefania, please, be quiet.” 

\-----

When I awoke, I was pleasantly surprised, and quite a bit relieved to see that we both still had our clothes on. Or, at the very least, I had my shift on, and Cesare had his pants on. 

I racked my brain to remember the events of the night before. We weren’t even drunk; I was just so tired and it was so late that I was out of it. 

“Good morning, little dove.” Cesare cooed, wrapping his hands around my waist and drawing me close to him.  
“Ces, what in the world did we do last night?” I asked breathlessly, turning towards him.   
He opened his eyes slightly and looked at me before smiling and closing his eyes. “Nothing. We didn’t do anything.” 

Without warning, Cesare threw off the blanket to reveal the pristine sheets below us. 

“No blood. I would never take your innocence and purity without your permission, Stefania.” 

Another sigh of relief. My future husband would still be given a virgin. 

“But surely we…”  
Cesare shrugged. “Nothing that we haven’t done before.”

_ “Stefania, please, be quiet.”  _

_ Cesare scooped me up and placed me onto the bed, climbing on top of me before kissing me with hungry lips.   
_ _ Against my better judgement, I kissed him back passionately. It was only when his hands began to wander that I protested.  _

_ “Cesare, we mustn’t.” I said, breaking away from his kiss.   
_ _ He sighed, but stopped. “I won’t take your innocence, my lady, but surely there are other things we can do that would still allow you to keep your virginity.”   
_ _ I shook my head. “Cesare,  _ **_we mustn’t_ ** _. I know that you are a man of the cloth, and I won’t let myself be romantically attached to you when I know it can never be.”  _

_ He enveloped me in a kiss again, and I did the same as I did before; kissed him passionately, only stopping when he tried to go further.  _

_ “I’m sorry, my dove… I cannot help myself. You’re so beautiful.” Cesare said, kissing down my neck and onto my chest.   
_ _ “I’m so happy you think so, Ces, but still… We can’t… I must be a virgin for my husband.”  _

_ We must have kissed for an hour or more, simply enjoying each other’s presence. _

_ It was good enough for Cesare. And it was good enough for me.  _

“My lady!” Gia exclaimed as she got me dressed for the day, “I must change your gown. The Lord Borgia has left bruises on you.” 

I gasped, and ran into the washroom to look in the mirror. 

Purple and red bruises lined my chest and my breasts.  _ Nothing we haven’t done before _ . That was false. We had never done this before. 

“Get my gown that covers me fully. I can’t have anyone seeing this.” I instructed Gia.   
It was embarrassing, to say the least. I had to make sure that nobody knew about it, lest I become yet another spectacle of Rome, after the death of my uncle. Now, the poor orphaned niece is a whore. Great.

Thankfully, nobody at the gardens could tell. Nobody except Cesare. 

“I don’t find your little gifts very pleasant, Cesare.” I commented quietly as we watched Djem and Lucrezia play croquet.   
“Oh? I found that giving them was  _ very _ pleasant.” Cesare replied, hiding a smirk behind the goblet he was drinking out of. 

The tension between Cesare and I was more than it ever had been. Every little look, wink, smirk,  _ everything _ was directed at me, and I felt hot and bothered before the midday meal was even served. 

“I’m so grateful to be among my Christian friends. Your kindness has been immeasurable.” Djem said as we began to eat.   
“It’s been a great pleasure to have you here as well, Djem.” Juan said. 

Juan had surprised me in the past few days, being almost brotherly towards Djem. Cesare talked of them having sword fights in the garden almost daily.   
It was nice to see Juan be civil. He was fairly civil to me when we cleared the churches for Rodrigo’s papacy. Maybe he had changed after all. 

We kept in each other’s company for the remainder of the meal, and then Djem asked Cesare to play croquet with him.   
Lucrezia and I remained under the tent, shielding ourselves from the sun and gossiping amongst each other. 

“Did you hear, sis? I am to be married.”   
My eyes widened. “Married? Sis you are so young. Surely your father has found you another young gentleman?”  
Lucrezia shrugged. “I know not. I can only hope that he is kind.”

I could only hope for the same. I was grateful that I wasn’t being shipped off and sold off to a husband. I would have to do the finding myself. And I knew I wasn’t ready yet. 

“Djem?” Lucrezia called out. She had been facing the courtyard; I had been facing towards her, and away from the courtyard. I turned to see Djem collapsing onto the grass, and I immediately stood up and ran over to help Cesare. 

“Djem!” I yelled as he began to cough up blood.   
My eyes immediately found Cesare. Foamy blood from the mouth, the same as when my uncle was poisoned.   
He shook his head intently. 

I used my handkerchief to wipe the blood from his face until the guards came over and carried him inside, with Lucrezia and Juan running after him. Cesare and I trailed behind, and once we were inside I shoved Cesare into a side room and slammed the door behind us. 

“Do not tell me you’ve decided to poison dear Djem!” I whispered harshly. 

Cesare grabbed me and covered my mouth and pressed me against the wall. I fought back intensely. 

“Stefania, stop!” He whispered just as harshly.  I mumbled underneath his palm until he removed it from my mouth, but he did not allow me to speak.   
“T’was not me, Stefania. It was orchestrated by my father for extra funds, and executed by Juan. You must keep this matter to yourself, okay? I trust you enough to tell you.” 

I opened my mouth to protest, but no words came out. Only tears from the sides of my eyes, which Cesare pushed away as he held me close. 

“He was so kind,” I sniffled as Cesare stroked my hair, “You mustn’t tell Lucrezia.”  
“I don’t intend to, little dove. You know you’re the one person I trust most in my life, so I know that I can trust you by telling you. It would destroy Lucrezia.” 

I hugged Cesare tightly, and he reciprocated, continuing to stroke my hair and rub my back. 

“Come, Stefania,” Cesare said after a short while, “Allow me to escort you home.” 

It was a quiet walk back to my palace. Neither Cesare nor I had many things to say to each other. I almost expected him to stay with me another night, but he bade me farewell with a quick kiss on the cheek. 

Gia pestered me with questions, but I didn’t feel like talking. 

Poor Djem. He was enjoying his time in Rome. Rumor had it that he even wanted to convert to Christianity. But, naturally, Rodrigo and Juan had to ruin it, and Cesare allowed for it to happen. He would surely be dead within the night. 

The bruises in the mirror weren’t a pretty reminder. I traced over the tiny marks on my chest and my breasts as I sunk deeper into the tub. 

  
Cesare. You certainly know the ways of the dark arts, and as a man of the cloth… I’m not inclined to trust your ways . 


	4. Il Matrimonio (The Wedding)

𝐿𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒟𝑜𝓋𝑒,

𝐼 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓈𝑒 𝓅𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝒻𝑒𝓌 𝒹𝒶𝓎𝓈. 𝐿𝓊𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓏𝒾𝒶 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝒻𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑒𝓃 𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑔𝓇𝒾𝑒𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓁𝑜𝓈𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝒟𝒿𝑒𝓂. 𝐼 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝒶𝓈𝓈𝒾𝓈𝓉 𝓂𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓅𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝒷𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇. 𝒮𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝒾𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓈 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝒸𝒶𝓊𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝒶𝓂𝑒 ‘ 𝒮𝓌𝒶𝓂𝓅 𝐹𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 ‘ 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒟𝒿𝑒𝓂 𝓅𝒶𝓈𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂. 

𝒲𝑒 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓈𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓅𝒶𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝑒𝒹𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒷𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝒹𝑒. 

𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝒹,

𝒞𝑒𝓈𝒶𝓇𝑒

“Dearest Lucrezia, how ill you look!” I said with a shock as I entered her chamber. 

Fair Lucrezia looked paler than normal, and the spark in her eyes had disappeared completely. I clutched the bouquet of flowers I brought to my chest as Cesare stood up and retrieved the flowers from my grasp. He led me over to the side of Lucrezia’s bed, where she turned a tearful look upon me. 

“Oh, sis, I feel for Djem.” Lucrezia whimpered.  
“As do I, my lovely Lucrezia.” I stroked her cheek softly, wiping away the tear that fell from her blazing blue eye.   
“I fear I caught the same swamp fever that Djem had. Perhaps we were bitten by the same mosquito.”   
I chuckled dryly. “Dearest Lucrezia, I think that you suffer from a different illness. One that is entirely too new to you.”  
Lucrezia raised her eyebrows. “Pray tell, sis!”

I smiled softly; sadly. “The illness of heartbreak, of course. The sadness, the fever, the loss of appetite, the loss of your color. All of your symptoms lead to this diagnosis, my love.” 

Lucrezia allowed more tears to fall as she nodded. “I loved dear Djem. I was quite attached to him. But now he’s gone, only to visit me in my dreams.”   
I nodded. “And cherishing those dreams, and memories, is the only cure to your illness.”

I spoke from experience; my own personal heartbreak. I was no stranger to death. 

I sat with Lucezia for quite a while before she lulled herself to sleep. Cesare had since left us, but now returned, and beckoned for me in the doorway. I slowly and quietly snuck out of Lucrezia’s room, and shut the door behind me. 

“You know Lucrezia on a deeper level that I will never reach.” Cesare sighed.  
“We are connected by our womanhood. I’m all too familiar with the illness she currently suffers from.” 

Cesare frowned, and pulled me in for a hug. 

“Would you be opposed to staying at the Borgia palace for tonight? In case Lucrezia was to need you.”   
I pulled back from Cesare and gave him a smirk. “In case Lucrezia were to need me? Or if  _ you _ were to need me?”   
Cesare exchanged my smirk. “Lucrezia, of course, but I would have you sleep in my chambers.” 

I scoffed. “Naturally.”

\----

“More little presents? I suppose I must be grateful that the weather is cool now, and I can wear a dress that can provide coverage.” I commented.

In the mirror of Cesare’s washroom, I traced over the tiny bruises on my breasts and chest. Cesare’s cool hand cupped my bare bottom suddenly, and I gasped aloud.

“How I wish to be the first one to bed you, little dove. I would show you pleasure like no other man could.” He kissed my neck as he spoke.   
“I wish you could too, my love. I fear no other man would be as gentle; you are not a savage like the rest. I would feel no pain with you.”   
Cesare hugged my bare body against his tightly, and caressed my lower stomach. “I will kill any man that causes you pain, I swear it.”  
I leaned back into him, letting myself melt into his arms. “And to that, I shall hold you to it.” 

He pecked me on the cheek before allowing me to get dressed into my daywear. We kissed again before going our separate ways. 

“Lady Orsini! How nice of you to join us!” Giulia Farnese called out as I entered the room where Lucrezia was modeling her wedding dress, and the final adjustments were being made.

“How could I not see my beautiful sis take a turn for the better! You look well, my love!” I commented, admiring Lucrezia’s spark that had returned.   
“With your help, Stefania. Look! Isn’t it magnificent?”  
“Your husband is truly lucky!” I replied, taking a seat next to Giulia.   
Lucrezia beamed. “ _ Husband _ . It sounds truly strange when I say it.”   
“You are lucky,” I repeated, “I fear I may never have a husband.”   
Lucrezia frowned. “But you shall! You are so pretty, and important! Why, you are one of the most powerful women in Rome!”  
“In the whole of Italy, I’d wager. Right behind Caterina Sforza.” Giulia added on.

I chuckled. “My goodness, I had no idea that you both thought so highly of me. Perhaps after the Holy Father marries off his children, he would take it upon himself to find a good suitor for me.”   
I glanced over at Giulia, hopefully planting an idea in her head. She looked ponderous. 

We remained in the room as the final adjustments were made, conversing every so often. It wasn’t until the subject of Vannozza came up that Giulia became quiet and somber. 

“I know it’s a hard subject with your situation, but she  _ is _ my mother. I’m only curious.” Lucrezia said, seemingly hopeful that she didn’t offend Giulia in too great a manner.   
“No, my dearest, I don’t think you understand. Your mother isn’t coming to your wedding.” 

One could almost feel the silence in the room. The servants attending to Lucrezia slowly backed away as her face turned from white, to a flourished pink, to a deep red. 

“Giulia, why do you say such things?” I asked in a hushed whisper.  
“I’m only telling Lucrezia what hasn’t been told to her yet.” Giulia replied with an innocent expression. 

She was earnest; I could tell she wasn’t joking, or just saying it to get a rise out of Lucrezia. 

“Oh my.” 

It was all making sense now. Vannozza, with her past as a courtesan, couldn’t be seen at the wedding, lest it be described as nothing short of a scandal. 

Lucrezia was out of the room in the blink of an eyes, and Giulia and I were running after her, but to no avail. We were caught at the door by the guards, and we could hear Lucrezia screaming and shouting from deeper within the Holy Father’s chambers. 

She eventually emerged, sobbing, and pushed right past Giulia and I and ran off into the Vatican. 

Rodrigo and Cesare emerged, and motioned for the guards to be let away. Before I could get a word in, Cesare grabbed my arm and led from the scene. 

“Before you start, I want you to know that I have no power in this situation. I’ve already tried to convince my father, but he simply won’t allow my mother to be there.” Cesare whispered sharply as he led me to his chambers.   
“Truly, there’s nothing you can do? Poor Lucrezia is so young.” 

Cesare frowned, and sat on his bed, running a few fingers through his hair; he was obviously stressed. “No need to remind me. But she shall have the support of us, and the rest of our family. And I have a plan, nonetheless.”   
I nodded. “Of course you do, Ces.”

We remained quiet for a few minutes before Cesare looked up and smiled at me. 

“At the very least, I get to see you look absolutely ravishing in your wedding attire.” 

\----------

Lucrezia’s wedding was more beautiful than I could have imagined. But having her wedding in the beautiful cathedral of St. Peter's certainly added to that effect.

Lovely Giulia and I sat together at the wedding, and I gave reassuring looks to Lucrezia every time she glanced over nervously. 

I knew that Cesare was going to be on edge after officiating the wedding, but I hadn’t expected him to disappear completely. 

“Awe, are you sad that your dear Cesare has disappeared on you?” Juan taunted from beside me as the wedding formalities began to take place.   
I rolled my eyes at him. “Juan, you are still as petulant as the day I met you. Can you not contain yourself for just  _ one _ night?” 

He pondered a moment before looking down at me. “I’ll contain myself as soon as your breasts contain themselves.”   
I gasped, and covered my bare chest with my hands. 

I had opted for a lower cut dress, but I hadn’t realized that it would be too much of an issue for the men. 

“I believe you’re at the wrong venue, Juan. The whorehouse is a little further down the street.” I shot back.   
“On the contrary, the whorehouse is right here.” Juan grabbed my bottom roughly. 

I meant to yell out, or at least fight back, but we were in the middle of a quiet crowd, while Lucrezia and her husband danced peacefully. I couldn’t dare ruin Lucrezia’s wedding, so I did what I could to swat Juan’s hand away. 

Then, it was as if God himself had heard my prayers, though I wish he had answered them in a different manner. 

The room was now completely silent. The music had stopped. Juan’s hand had let go of me. All eyes were focused on the staircase. 

Cesare and Vannozza were descending, and laughing quietly amongst themselves. 

Rodrigo looked as if he were about to jump off his throne, but Giulia held him back. Lucrezia looked ecstatic that her mother had arrived. 

After a brief confrontation, the music resumed, and a dance had started. Cesare came into the crowd to find me before pulling me to the middle of the floor. 

“Well, I was right about one thing; you look  _ absolutely _ ravishing.” Cesare admired as we danced together.   
“And I was right about one thing as well; your plans always work.”   
He grinned at me. “I  _ always _ get what I want.” 

He spun me around and sent me off to another man as we all switched partners. 

“Lord Sforza, my congratulations.” I said politely as I recognized my new partner.  
“Lady Orsini, thank you. I’m surprised to see you here.”  
“Why, my lord?”   
“Well, a busy, independent woman like yourself could hardly take a day off.”

I looked at him, confused. 

“Oh, my apologies, I forgot that women have no  _ real _ work except take care of their children. But that won’t ever be a problem for you, will it? You can just spend your days mooching off of your inheritance and die fat and happy, with no husband and no children.” 

I stared at him, dumbfounded. This was no man for Lucrezia. 

Thankfully, I was spun off again, and landed in the arms of the  _ better _ Sforza. 

“Cardinal Sforza, I-” 

“No need to discuss my cousin’s behavior… I already know.” Ascanio sighed. 

“I don’t think this is a good man for Lucrezia. She’s young. Innocent. Naive.”

Cardinal Sforza shrugged. “There’s nothing I can do, my lady, but hope that she lightens him up the best he can.”

By the end of the dance, I was feeling sick. It didn’t help that I was ostracized during the dinner. Cesare had found a new friend, a  _ lady friend _ , and he was too indisposed to pay attention to me. I found myself between Juan and Joffre, and as young as Joffre was, I had no choice but to converse with him, lest I be the subject of Juan’s torture once again. But he was too busy ogling at Sancia of Naples to pay attention to me. 

At the end of the night, it felt as though there was no reason to celebrate anything at all. 

“If you need anything, and I mean  _ anything _ , don’t hesitate to write to me. I’ll be waiting to hear from you.” I whispered to Lucrezia as I said goodbye to her.  
“My dear sis, I shall see you and Cesare soon! You may always come to visit as well.” 

Giovanni looked on with a scornful eye, but said nothing. 

“My dear sis, remember  _ who you are _ . Remember who your family is.” I said sharply before kissing her and making my departure. 

I didn’t even bother with Cesare. He had his new shiny thing, and I was just interested in going home and getting out of my dress and into bed. 

Oh, Lucrezia, may Giovanni not be as harsh as he seems. 

  
  



	5. Una Giornata Informale (A Casual Day)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just kind of a fluffy, filler chapter. Even though Juan had some despicable behavior in the previous chapter, he and Stefania actually get along pretty well this chapter. 
> 
> Enjoy! Please leave a kudos <3

𝑀𝓎 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝒮𝒾𝓈, 

𝐻𝑜𝓌 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊? 𝐼 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒻𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝒾𝓃 𝑅𝑜𝓂𝑒. 

𝒯𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒷𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒. 𝒢𝒾𝑜𝓋𝒶𝓃𝓃𝒾 𝒾𝓈 𝒶 𝒽𝒶𝓇𝓈𝒽 𝓂𝒶𝓃 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒶 𝒽𝒶𝓇𝓈𝒽 𝓇𝑒𝑔𝒾𝓂𝑒, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓌𝑒 𝑜𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝓈𝑒𝑒 𝑒𝒶𝒸𝒽 𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓂𝒶𝓇𝒾𝓉𝒶𝓁 𝒹𝓊𝓉𝓎 𝒸𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓈, 𝓈𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝑒𝒶𝓈𝒾𝑒𝓇. 

𝐼 𝓉𝓇𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒹𝒾𝓋𝓊𝓁𝑔𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝓃𝑜 𝑜𝓃𝑒, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑔𝓊𝓃 𝒶 𝓇𝑒𝓁𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑔𝓇𝑜𝑜𝓂𝓈𝓂𝒶𝓃, 𝒫𝒶𝑜𝓁𝑜. 𝐻𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝒻𝒶𝓇 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝑔𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃 𝒢𝒾𝑜𝓋𝒶𝓃𝓃𝒾, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝓇𝓊𝓁𝓎 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓈 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓂𝑒. 𝒜𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃, 𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓃𝑜 𝑜𝓃𝑒. 𝐼𝓃 𝒻𝒶𝒸𝓉, 𝒷𝓊𝓇𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓁𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊’𝓋𝑒 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒾𝓈𝒽𝑒𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒾𝓉. 

𝒟𝑜 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝒞𝑒𝓈𝒶𝓇𝑒, 𝐼 𝒾𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊. 𝑀𝓎 𝓅𝑜𝑜𝓇, 𝒽𝒶𝓇𝓈𝒽 𝒽𝓊𝓈𝒷𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒽𝒾𝓂𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒾𝓃 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓂𝒶𝓇𝒾𝓉𝒶𝓁 𝒷𝑒𝒹 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒞𝑒𝓈𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝒽𝒶𝓋𝒾𝑜𝓇. 

𝒫𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓋𝒾𝓈𝒾𝓉 𝓈𝑜𝑜𝓃. 𝐼𝓉’𝓈 𝒶𝓌𝒻𝓊𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓁𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒.

𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒,

𝐿𝓊𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓏𝒾𝒶

“Oh, my.” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. I knew the moment I met Giovanni that he was no good for her.  “Gia, a candle please.” I sighed, scanning over the letter once more before sticking the edge of it into the flame. 

It was more than I feared, and with Cesare gone to Florence, I pondered whether I should take matters into my own hands regarding Lucrezia’s situation. I wasn’t as gifted as Cesare was in swordsmanship, nor did I have such spies and assassins as he did. I didn’t have any spies at all, come to think of it. 

“Gia, surely there are others like you. Those I can trust wholly?” I asked, watching the letter turn to ashes on the ground of the courtyard.   
Gia nodded, refilling my glass as I pondered my options.   
“I would like to be introduced to them, then, and decide for myself whom I can trust. I need eyes and ears across Italy, or at the very least, following dear Cesare and Lucrezia. My stationary, please.” 

Gia quickly fetched my quill and parchment. 

𝓜𝔂 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓵𝔂 𝓛𝓾𝓬𝓻𝓮𝔃𝓲𝓪, 

𝓘 𝓭𝓸 𝓲𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝓯𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓲𝓷 𝓡𝓸𝓶𝓮. 𝓘 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓵𝔂, 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮, 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓘 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝔂𝓼 𝓹𝓪𝓼𝓼 𝓫𝔂 𝓼𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻 𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮. 𝓘 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓘 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓾𝓹 𝓪 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓹 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓙𝓾𝓪𝓷 𝓸𝓻 𝓙𝓸𝓯𝓯𝓻𝓮, 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓻𝓮𝓺𝓾𝓲𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓼𝓮 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓸𝓯 𝓭𝓮𝓹𝓻𝓲𝓿𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷. 

𝓒𝓮𝓼𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓭𝓾𝓽𝓲𝓮𝓼. 𝓗𝓮 𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓶𝓼 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓮𝓭𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰, 𝓸𝓯 𝔀𝓱𝓲𝓬𝓱 𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓪𝓷𝔂 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓹𝓲𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓲𝓮𝓼, 𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝔀𝓱𝓲𝓬𝓱 𝓫𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓶𝓮 𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽 𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝔀𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽. 

𝓢𝓸 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓘 𝓪𝓶, 𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝔂 𝓭𝓪𝔂𝓼 𝓲𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓹𝓪𝓵𝓪𝓬𝓮, 𝓽𝓻𝔂𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓸 𝓴𝓮𝓮𝓹 𝓶𝔂 𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓸𝓬𝓬𝓾𝓹𝓲𝓮𝓭. 𝓘 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓿𝓲𝓼𝓲𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝓸𝓸𝓷. 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓼 𝓭𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝔂 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓮 𝓷𝓸 𝓶𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓲𝓪𝓵 𝓭𝓾𝓽𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓶. 

𝓜𝔂 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓼 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾, 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓛𝓾𝓬𝓻𝓮𝔃𝓲𝓪. 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓘 𝔀𝓲𝓼𝓱 𝓸𝓷𝓵𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾.

𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓲𝓼, 

𝓢𝓽𝓮𝓯𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓪 𝓞𝓻𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓲

“Straight to Lucrezia Borgia.” I commanded, handing the sealed letter to my courier. 

Now it was the waiting game. Spend my time reading and studying, riding or relaxing, until a letter arrives either from my dear Lucrezia or my dear Cesare, the latter of which I didn’t expect to hear from at all. 

_ “Why won’t you let me? You know it will ultimately be me anyway.” Cesare pouted as I climbed away from him.   
_ _ “ _ **_You_ ** _ are a cardinal of the church, Cesare, and therefore you cannot marry. My innocence is being saved for my husband.” I said firmly.  _

_ Cesare grabbed my naked body from the edge of the bed and threw himself on top of me.  _

_ “You would rape me, then? Steal my innocence from me in my very chamber?” I asked, eyes wide. I knew Cesare would not, but what he said at the wedding hadn’t left my mind.  _

_ ‘I always get what I want.’ _

Something had changed in him since the wedding. He had shifted his mood quite rapidly from respecting my innocence to begging to be the first to take it.

_ “I would never, my little dove, but would you take the chance that your future husband would? Would you not rather I take it and be kind?”  _

_ Cesare was all too persuasive, but my morals stood strong.  _

_ “I mustn’t. I won’t.” I said, looking up at him as he still hovered over me.   
_ _ “Right. Stick to your morals then.” Cesare said, removing himself from atop me and fetching his clothes.   
_ _ “You’re not staying?” I asked.  
_ _ “No. Father is sending me to Florence tomorrow.”  _

_ I frowned. That’s why he wanted to bed me so bad. He was leaving.  _

_ “So you will return home for the night?” _

_ His hesitation caught me off guard.  _

_ “I will-”  
_ _ “You will not be going home then. I suppose that has something to do with the fair woman from Lucrezia’s wedding.”  _

_ Cesare cocked his head at me before frowning. “You aren't nearly as close as you think to me to be attacking me with such allegations, Lady Orsini.”  _

_ He buttoned up his shirt and left without another word.  _

“My lady.” Gia said softly, handing me her handkerchief.   
I hadn’t noticed that I had begun crying at the memory of last week’s events. 

Damn you, Cesare Borgia, for making me feel such feelings . 

The next morning caught me by surprise. 

“A letter from the Lord Borgia, my lady.” 

I almost spat out my breakfast. 

“And books, as well, from Florence.” 

What was this? An apology? A consolation gift? 

I took the letter from Gia and hesitated before opening it. 

𝐹𝒶𝒾𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝒮𝓉𝑒𝒻𝒶𝓃𝒾𝒶, 

𝐼 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓁𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓈𝑒 𝒷𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁. 𝐹𝓁𝑜𝓇𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓆𝓊𝒶𝓉𝑒 𝒸𝒾𝓉𝓎, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒻𝒶𝓋𝑜𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝑅𝑜𝓂𝑒. 

𝐸𝓃𝒿𝑜𝓎.

𝒞𝑒𝓈𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝐵𝑜𝓇𝑔𝒾𝒶

That was it? I flipped the letter around, hoping to reveal more script, but the parchment was bare. I should have expected as much, but I still felt a great deal of disappointment. 

“I shall give my thanks to the Lord Borgia when he returns.” I said softly, tossing the letter aside and resuming my breakfast. 

“There is something else, my lady…” Gia said hesitantly.   
“Yes, what is it?”   
“Lord Borgia is here to see you.” 

This time, I did choke on my breakfast. I quickly stood up from the table and rushed into the drawing room. 

“I know I wasn’t the Borgia you were expecting, so this must be quite disappointing.” 

My heart dropped to my stomach when the figure standing at the window turned around and revealed himself to be Juan Borgia. 

“Quite.” I sighed, staring down at the floor. 

“So… How are you?”  
“Quit trying to be civil, Juan, just tell me what you want. And know that I haven’t forgotten your behavior at Lucrezia’s wedding.” 

I shuddered at the memory. He hadn't matured at all like I thought he had.

“Right… Well, I would have you accompany me to the Vatican today. I need a woman’s eye.”  
I cocked my head. “A… Woman’s eye?"  
He nodded. “You see, father is trying to marry me off, but he’s giving me the most inbred, low status, illegitimate daughters that Italy has to offer. I suppose having a woman’s eye might be able to help me find one that’s not… so bad.” 

I scoffed before laughing in his face. “I will accompany you, Juan Borgia, but only because I have absolutely nothing better to do with my day, and this should prove to be a good form of entertainment.” 

And it was. Of course, from the moment I walked into the Vatican, all eyes were on me. Even the Holy Father protested at my arrival, but Juan insisted. 

Juan was correct; all of the women being offered to him were of a… lesser degree. And of a lesser standard of beauty. 

“This wench better be a good one.” Juan whispered to me as the representatives from Navarre set up in front of us.   
“One can only hope.” I whispered back. 

“To the Lord Borgia, we present the most beautiful Princess Sylvia of Navarre.” 

The portrait was revealed, and I tried my best to hold back my laughter. I covered my face and turned to Juan, who looked enraged that yet another one of the women presented to him wasn’t up to his standards. 

“The Princess Sylvia’s portrait is most beautiful. Which painter was commissioned for this?” I asked once I had contained myself.  
Of course, I was only asking to know who to avoid if I ever commissioned a portrait to be made. 

Like the others, the representatives from Navarre were sent away, and the meeting had been completed. 

I followed Juan and Rodrigo into Rodrigo’s chambers. 

“Father, is this all just a joke? Surely you have better women to offer me.” 

Rodrigo pondered a moment as his servants changed him into more comfortable clothing.   
“You may have Stefania,” He nodded over to me, “But it wouldn’t create any allies for our family.”

I burned red as Juan and I both practically gagged. 

“What of Sancia of Naples?” I suggested, stealing a chalice of wine from the table.   
Juan scoffed. “What of her? The illegitimate daughter of King Ferrante?”   
I nodded. “She’s… Semi royalty. At the very least, pretty eye candy. We saw her, in person, at Lucrezia’s wedding. No ugly portraits shall grace our presence.” 

Juan scoffed again and pelted me with a grape. 

“No, Stefania has a point. An alliance with Naples wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”  
Juan shook his head. “I won’t marry her, father. I’ll have nothing less than  _ legitimate _ .” 

Rodrigo shook his head. “Not you. Joffre.” 

I spat out my wine. “Your Holiness, with all due respect, Joffre still plays with dolls. He’s too young to be married."  
Rodrigo shushed me. 

“We shall have a wedding to gain Naples’ allegiance, and Joffre and his wife can go their separate ways until he’s old enough, or whatever they choose. It’s their marriage.” 

I looked at Juan, who shrugged. He was probably grateful he could still be single for the time being. 

  
I arrived back at my palace just after sundown. 

“My lady, you have a visitor for dinner.” Gia informed me as I walked towards the dining room.   
“You let them into my home without permission?” I asked her, eyeing her cautiously.   
“My lady, I… I presumed you wouldn’t mind!”

I sighed and dismissed Gia as I entered the room. I didn’t miss Cesare’s gleaming smile from across the table. 

“You’re back.” I said monotonously as I took a seat.   
“I am indeed.”  
“How was your trip?” I didn’t look up from my plate.   
“Not ideal… I would like to visit Florence under better circumstances, and of my own volition.” 

I frowned. “Well I appreciate your letter, and the books of Machiavelli.”   
“Of course, little dove. I know how you enjoy your literature.”

I couldn’t help but smile. 

“Are you staying tonight?” I asked casually, staring down at my plate to avoid making eye contact with him.  
His striking silence once again caused disappointment. 

“I would see you in your chambers for a private conversation though.”

A private conversation. I nearly laughed at how ridiculous it sounded. The only private conversation he would be having would be with my breasts. 


	6. Riconciliazione (Reconciliation)

𝒮𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓉𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝒮𝓉𝑒𝒻𝒶𝓃𝒾𝒶, 

𝐼 𝓇𝑒𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒾𝓃𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓂 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝒽𝓊𝓈𝒷𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝓈𝓊𝒻𝒻𝑒𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝒶 𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓇𝒾𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝒻𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓌𝒽𝒾𝓁𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝓃 𝒶 𝒽𝓊𝓃𝓉, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝒹𝓇𝒾𝒹𝒹𝑒𝓃 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝒫𝑒𝓈𝒶𝓇𝑜. 𝒲𝒽𝒾𝓁𝑒 𝐼 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝒹𝑒𝑒𝓅 𝓈𝑜𝓇𝓇𝑜𝓌 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓂𝓎 𝒽𝓊𝓈𝒷𝒶𝓃𝒹’𝓈 𝒾𝓃𝒿𝓊𝓇𝓎 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒽𝒾𝓂, 𝒾𝓉’𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒶 𝒿𝑜𝒷 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒶 𝓁𝒶𝒹𝓎 𝓈𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝒶𝓈 𝓂𝓎𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻. 𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒, 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒷𝑒 𝓆𝓊𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶 𝑔𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉 𝑜𝓅𝓅𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓊𝓃𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝓋𝒾𝓈𝒾𝓉, 𝑔𝒾𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝒽𝓊𝓈𝒷𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓈… 𝓉𝒶𝓂𝑒𝒹 𝓃𝑜𝓌. 

𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓁𝓎 𝐿𝓊𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓏𝒾𝒶

“Perhaps it would be good to get out of Rome for a while, my lady.”   
I nodded. “Prepare my things. We’ll ride out tomorrow morning.” 

Without explanation, I felt the need to tell Cesare that I was leaving Rome. But we were still at odds with each other.   
To him, I was the unrelenting virgin who wouldn’t allow him to take my innocence.   
To me, he was the sex-crazed man who dabbled in the dark arts of violence and murder. 

But the spies given to me by Gia had done their work finely, and I had come to know of Ursula Bonadeo’s daily routine. And her trips to the Borgia palace. With a hooded Cesare Borgia.   
So I let him be that sex-crazed man. He was not my husband, merely a friend. One day, when I'm married, and become a mother, I know I'll miss my liaisons with him. So I took his love and attention as it came. 

“Nothing on the agenda for you tonight, then?” I asked Cesare as he kissed down my stomach.   
“Only to bed you.” He said softly, going lower down my abdomen.   
“Which, of course, will not happen. I suppose there’s still time in the night to bed another woman.”

Cesare growled as he spun me over and smacked my bare bottom. 

“And what’s that supposed mean?” He asked as I rubbed the red and stinging skin.   
“Well surely if I am not giving you pleasure, some other woman must be.”

I sat on my bed and scooted away from him. The cool sheets were a relief on my stinging bottom. 

Cesare frowned and rolled his eyes. “See, if you let me bed you, things like this wouldn’t happen. I sense jealousy.”   
I scoffed. “I’m not jealous, I’m simply making an observation.”   
Cesare shook his head. “You wouldn’t observe it if you weren’t jealous. Can you not let me spoil you? Do you not enjoy it?”   
“I enjoy it, Ces,” I insisted, “It’s just that I fear one day I may go too far and spoil my innocence. Then I have nothing to offer my future husband.”   
“But you have something to offer _me_ .”   
I shook my head. “It’s not yours for the taking, Cesare, unless you intend on marrying me tonight.” 

He shook his head, and stood up from the bed. “Have a good night, Stefania.” 

I laughed and bit my tongue. “And how does fair Ursula taste? Is her skin as sweet as mine?” 

Cesare spun around with a look in his eyes that I had never seen before. “How did you-”  
“I’m a woman on my own in Rome, Cesare, I must be a fly on the wall to protect myself.”

He shook his head. “And just as people get annoyed with the buzzing of a _fly_ , I am annoyed with you.” 

\---

My heart still hurt as I departed Rome the next morning. Cesare was cuddled up with Ursula, and I was all alone in my carriage. I was half tempted to get on my horse and ride, but I feared I would ride back to Rome in an instant and let Cesare bed me just to make him happy. 

So here I was. A lonely virgin that might never wed. Then I might have saved myself for no reason. Where was the cutoff? Should I give up on being a virgin bride by the time I was 18? 19? Cesare was already nearing those ages. I was a lowly girl of 14. He would marry sooner than I would. 

I couldn’t wait to get to Pesaro. At least there my mind would be occupied.   
It was a fair castle indeed, and Lucrezia was there at the gates to greet me. 

“Just present yourself for formality, then we don’t have to see him for the rest of your visit.” Lucrezia said under her breath in a cheerful tone.

I had to admit, the Lord Giovanni Sforza looked far less intimidating as he lay in a small bed with a broken leg. Lucrezia was right; he was _tame_. 

Pesaro was a beautiful place to get my mind off of Cesare. Lucrezia took me riding daily, along with her groomsman, Paolo. 

“He’s quite handsome. I’m glad you’ve found a little slice of paradise here.” I said to Lucrezia as we sat in a meadow having a picnic lunch. Paolo had given us our space, and was tending to the horses on the opposite side of the clearing. 

“As am I. I’ve been quite fortunate that the staff here are quite the opposite of my husband. Paolo gives me reason to live. That, and my husband can no longer perform his marital duties.”  
I winced. “Is it bad?”  
Lucrezia nodded. “Quite. Nobody ever prepared me for it. But I know how love-making _should_ be, thanks to Paolo.”  
I winced again. “It hurts then? To have your innocence taken?”  
Lucrezia nodded, and shuddered. “I just wanted it to stop. The pain was immeasurable, it is practically every time the Lord Sforza wants to bed me. But with Paolo it is gentle; caring. It doesn’t hurt at all.” 

I inhaled sharply. A great sense of fear that my future husband would treat me such as Lucrezia’s has treated her rocked my body. I hated that Cesare had such a point. But would it hurt regardless of the kind and gentle touch of Cesare? 

I briefly considered letting Cesare bed me upon my return to Rome, but as quickly as it came, I dismissed it. 

“It’s ridiculous, isn’t it, Gia?”   
Gia stroked my hair with the brush, but said nothing.   
“Why should he get upset with me for not allowing him to have intercourse with me? If anything, he should respect me for it. It should make him like me more.”   
Gia chuckled. “My lady, you may be the head of the Orsini house, but you still have much to learn, especially in a world of men.”  
I frowned. “I suppose you will be giving me those lessons?”  
Gia shook her head. “I can only tell you so much. You will not heed my word. There are certain things you must experience for yourself. Those are the only lessons for you pertaining to this matter.”

My reflection stared angrily back at me as I looked into the mirror. 

“I do believe that the Lord Borgia will bed you eventually. It’s only a matter of time before you both grow tired of his teasing.”

 _Teasing_ . We are all _but_ having intercourse. 

“Thank you, Gia, you’re dismissed.” I said quietly, raising my hand to my scalp to stop her brushing.  
“As you wish, my lady.”

My chambers felt more lonely that night than they had in awhile. 

\-----

News came during my visit to Pesaro of Joffre’s impending wedding, and Lucrezia was more than happy to accompany me back to Rome. 

“You’re kidding! Father listened to your recommendation?”   
I nodded. “Sort of. I suggested Sancia of Naples for Juan, but Juan keeps throwing fits about the women your father suggests, so he gave her to Joffre instead.”   
Lucrezia laughed wildly. “Oh, Juan will never marry. He likes the women of the streets too much.”   
I twiddled my fingers anxiously. “And what do you think of Cesare? Will he ever marry?” 

Lucrezia shrugged. “Not while he’s of the cloth. Perhaps father will arrange something should Cesare ever leave the church.”

My heart sunk. The arrangement would most certainly not involve me. 

“But!” Lucrezia continued, “I do think that father will arrange you with someone. He obviously trusts you, so I think he’ll marry you off to someone to get another pair of ears in a corner of Italy.”   
I felt sick. It was a definite possibility. I let Lucrezia babble on and on as I sat in our carriage, nausea dominating my body. It hadn’t even ceased when we entered Rome.

“Cesare!” Lucrezia cheered as we entered the Vatican gardens.   
Cesare was standing underneath an entryway, and quickly said goodbye to the cardinal he was talking to and ran to Lucrezia.   
“Sis! So good to see you.” He said, spinning her around.   
“Good to see you as well, Cesare. You haven’t changed a bit!”  
Cesare stepped back and admired Lucrezia. “And you, my dear sis, have changed _immensely_.” 

Cesare doted on his sister for a few more moments before turning his attention to me. 

“Stefania, you look well.”  
I nodded. “A vacation in Pesaro was just what I needed.”   
He eyed me cautiously before turning back to Lucrezia. 

Dinner was a short affair, but nonetheless still very pleasant. I enjoyed the feeling of family as Cesare, Lucrezia, Vannozza, and I ate together. 

I arrived back at home where Gia had prepared a bath for me. The hot water helped my body relax, but I immediately tensed when there came a knock at my door.   
“Gia, I’m perfectly fine with bathing myself. I would call you if I needed you.”  
“It’s not Gia, my lady.” 

As hot as the water was, my body was suddenly covered with the chills. 

“May I come in?”  
I hesitated. “Yes.” 

The door opened and quickly shut, and the heavy footsteps shuffled over to the side of the bathtub, where Cesare Borgia knelt onto the ground. 

“Hello.” He breathed.   
“Hello Cesare. May I ask the nature of your visit, especially when I am in such a situation?”  
“I came to apologize.”

The sentence shocked me. “Apologize?”  
He nodded. “For my behavior before you left for Pesaro.”  
I cocked my head at him.  
“It was wrong of me to treat you as I did. Lucrezia… She’s changed. Her innocence has been stolen from her, and she will never get it back. It was wrong of me to try to take it from you, and to get upset when you wouldn’t allow me to do so.” 

I stared at him. He was truly caring, if seeing the new Lucrezia had rattled him in such a way. He cared for her on a deep level. 

“You’re already forgiven.” I whispered.   
He smiled, and seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. “You know I would never hurt you, right?”  
I nodded.   
“And you know I care for you, right?”  
I nodded again, but this time with a laugh. “Of course you care for me, Cesare. You wouldn’t share my bed with me if you didn’t. You wouldn’t have come all the way here to apologize to me privately if you didn’t care about how-”

I was cut short by Cesare cupping my face and kissing me.

“-if you didn’t care about how I felt.” I finished as Cesare pulled his lips away from me.   
“My apologies, Lady Orsini, but you look so beautiful that I couldn’t help myself.” 

I grinned at him and pulled him back in for another kiss. 

  
Maybe Gia was wrong. Maybe we would never tire of our incessant teasing. Maybe we would be content with our _almost_ sexual relationship.


	7. La Scoperta (The Discovery)

𝑀𝓎 𝐿𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒟𝑜𝓋𝑒,

𝒪𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓁𝓎 𝐿𝓊𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓏𝒾𝒶 𝒾𝓈 𝒹𝑒𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒫𝑒𝓈𝒶𝓇𝑜 𝓉𝑜𝓂𝑜𝓇𝓇𝑜𝓌 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔. 𝐼 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒿𝑜𝒾𝓃 𝓊𝓈 𝒶𝓉 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒻𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝑒𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝐵𝑜𝓇𝑔𝒾𝒶 𝓅𝒶𝓁𝒶𝒸𝑒 𝓉𝑜𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉. 𝐼 𝒶𝓅𝑜𝓁𝑜𝑔𝒾𝓏𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓂𝓎 𝒶𝒷𝓈𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇𝓈 𝒶𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓁𝒶𝓉𝑒. 

𝒞𝑒𝓈𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝐵𝑜𝓇𝑔𝒾𝒶

Time had really flown by. Joffre’s wedding, Lucrezia’s stay, they were all things of the past.  I feared for her return to the harsh arms of her husband, and hoped that he wouldn’t be walking as soon as anticipated. 

“It feels wrong, hoping for such a thing.” I divulged to Gia as she dressed me for the dinner.   
“It’s not wrong, my lady, if the things that Lady Lucrezia described are true, then he surely doesn’t deserve to have his leg healed.” 

That was true. With all the pain he caused Lucrezia, was it not fair that he should feel pain as well? 

“Lucrezia’s a smart girl,” I said as I admired my bodice in the mirror, “She’ll think of something.”

Once again, dinner felt comforting, as sad as we all were knowing that Lucrezia was leaving us in the morning.   
“You may all come and visit me anytime, you know,” Lucrezia chuckled after the dinner plates were cleared away, “I would surely enjoy the company. Stefania’s visit was a nice reprieve from the monotony of life in the countryside.”

Cesare looked tempted, but I feared if he went alone that he might injure Lord Sforza further.  “I will go when I find the time, dear sis, though I don’t think Lord Sforza will be very pleased with the presence of another Borgia.”   
A right assumption. Lucrezia told me that Lord Sforza had “forgiven her” for her bloodline;  _ “My dirty, tainted bloodline. If it was such an issue, he should have never married me in the first place.” _

Like Lucrezia’s husband, Cesare was quite tame in the bedroom that night. He didn’t even remove my nightgown. 

“Are you sad, my love?” I asked as I stroked his hair.   
“I am,” he sighed, “My Lucrezia is gone. She will never be the same.” 

My heart ached for him. It was a pain I would never feel. None of my siblings had survived to marital age. The only pain I knew was loss and grief. 

“‘Tis a new era for Lucrezia. She must grow up eventually, though you and I both wish that she hadn’t had to mature in the way that she did.”  
Cesare nodded. “I swear, I’ll kill that Sforza scum if he hurts her.”

_ Too late. _

“And I’ll kill any man who hurts you, my little dove.”   
“I know, my sweet Cesare,” I whispered, curling his hair around my fingers, “I know.” 

\------

Now that Lucrezia was gone again, I had to entertain myself during the day. And, once again, the days all morphed into one. 

Cesare hadn’t been by in a while, and I was growing more and more suspicious of his actions. 

“Surely he’s busy doing cardinal things, right?” I questioned Gia in the study.   
“What else would he be doing, my lady?”  
“Well, Ursula Bonadeo, for one.” I scoffed. 

My spies hadn’t reported anything as of late, but I suspected Cesare had either paid them off or fought them off. 

“My lady, you know she’s married. That relationship simply won’t go any better. You have a better chance of being with Lord Borgia than she does.” 

I scoffed again. Ursula gave him what he wanted. I withheld it from him. Our relationship would never go anywhere either.  “I’m practically nothing, Gia,” I frowned, “I’ll have to pay my own dowry. Give up my own money and my own palace. I’m not royalty. I’ll be lucky if I’m able to marry a serf.”

“Don’t talk like that, my lady. You know you will find a great husband and have a wonderful family.”  
I twirled a strand of my hair between my fingers. “And if I am doomed like my mother and father? If my children follow the same path that my siblings did?”  
“Again, you mustn’t speak like that, my lady. We must be hopeful for the future.” 

The future. It had never been kind to me before, so why should it be kind to me now?

“Lady Orsini, Ophelia is here.”   
I set my book down, and stood up to face one of my spies.   
“Anything new?” I questioned.  
“Lady Bonadeo no longer exists,” it took all my strength to hold myself together. I would have never imagined Cesare to be cruel to a woman. My nausea crawled up my throat before I pressed Ophelia to continue, “Only a Sister Martha at the convent of St. Cecilia.”

I cocked my head. “You mean there is a new woman in Cesare’s life?”  
Ophelia shook her head. “Lady Bonadeo is now Sister Martha. She’s become a nun.” 

I had to contain my laugh. It was so very ironic that Cesare’s lover becomes a nun, and is forbidden from sex.   
“However, the Lord Borgia visited the convent this morning. But he left looking rather disappointed.”  The smile that was spreading across my face was short lived. There would be another. And if that didn’t work out there would be  _ another _ . 

“Very well. Thank you, Ophelia.” I dismissed her as I sat down in my chair again, but refraining from resuming my reading.   
“So? Is this good news?” Gia asked.   
I shrugged. “I suppose it could be. Or he will be Abelard and she will be  Héloïse.”  
Gia looked at me with a confused expression. I chalked it up to her lesser education and inexperience in the church.  “She was a French nun who had a love affair with the philosopher Pierre Abelard, although through Abelard’s writing, it seems that he often forced himself upon Héloïse.”  
Gia frowned. “Is that in the Lord Borgia’s character?”  
I shook my head. “No, his appeal would simply persuade Ursula to consent. No woman can resist him.”

Seeing Cesare at my doorstep that night came at no surprise, although I acted surprised to him.   
I said nothing of my knowledge of Ursula’s conversion, though I knew that was the reason Cesare now entered my bed after avoiding my chambers for so long. 

But, as I told Gia, I will let myself be happy for the time being. His attention was solely focused on me and my pleasure, for that, I couldn’t complain. 

“King Ferrante has died.” Cesare sighed as he held my naked body close.  
“Really? Oh, poor Sancia. She was here in Rome, was she not?”   
Cesare nodded.   
“So what now? Does his wild son lay claim to the throne?”   
Cesare nodded again. “Someone must. Sancia is illegitimate, so it’s Alfonso’s right. But I would fear that there will be no claim to the throne soon enough.”  
“What do you mean, my love?”   
“France’s army marches past Lucca as we speak, going towards Florence.”  
I shuddered. “Can the papal armies not prevent this invasion?”   
Cesare tensed. “They would if father allowed me to take control. Juan decides everything now.”

I scoffed. “As if Juan could do a better job than you. Your father is unwise to let him be gonfaloniere.”   
“I agree. Father plans to excommunicate the whole of Florence should they surrender to French arms.” 

War was not something I was too familiar with, perhaps due to the lack of experienced men in my life, or my boredom with books on was too great. But I listened to Cesare speak on the matter, and how his friendships with Machiavelli and the Medici’s were being threatened. 

“I really can’t say how Florence will react. Machiavelli said Florence would do nothing, and more specifically,  _ do _ nothing. I fear that means surrender.”   
I nodded. “I suppose, in context, it does.” 

Cesare droned on and on about war and the French army and the armies of the Romagna and the Colonna and everything else until we both found sleep. 

\----

Shortly after Cesare’s departure in the morning, I was surprised to be graced with the presence of another guest. 

“La Bella! What a pleasant surprise.” I greeted cheerfully.   
“Lady Orsini, you have a beautiful palace.” 

Giulia Farnese, the pope’s acknowledged mistress, was a good friend of Lucrezia and I, though we didn’t see much of her now that Lucrezia was living in Pesaro, and due to the fact that Vannozza didn’t like her too much. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure? Shall I have some tea or a food prepared for you?”  
“No, thank you. I’m afraid I must talk to you urgently.” 

I nodded, and took Giulia into the drawing room for our privacy. 

“Is everything alright?” I asked worriedly.   
“Yes, yes. I’m just here to ask a favor.”  
“An urgent one?”  
Giulia nodded. “The Holy Father has asked me to ride to Pesaro to check in on the Sforza’s.”  
“The Sforza’s?”  
Giulia nodded. “More specifically… Their armies.” 

Everything was making sense now that I recalled Cesare’s conversation from the previous night.   
Rodrigo  _ was _ preparing for a war, and unbeknownst to Juan or Cesare, he was doing his own form of reconnaissance. 

“So I was wondering if you’d be willing to accompany me to Pesaro so I won’t have to go by myself?” 

Yet another surprise. I presumed Giulia was only taking me because of my relationship with Lucrezia. 

“Of course! I would love to.”

It would give me something to do as well as give me an opportunity to see Lucrezia again and check in on her “situation”. I couldn’t pass it up.  
There was no time to inform Cesare of my departure, but I presumed that Giulia and I wouldn’t be visiting Pesaro for more than a day or two. Gia would inform Cesare of my whereabouts. 

"The Sforza’s of Milan have turned against the House of Borgia. The Holy Father asked me to check in on Giovanni Sforza and make sure that he’s still adhering to the agreements of the marriage.” Giulia described as the castle of Pesaro came into view. 

Once again, I was reminded of Cesare’s ramble from the night before.   
_ War. Dirty. Gritty. Changing. _ It didn’t make much sense to me why the Milanese Sforza’s had turned against the Borgias. Giovanni turning against the Borgias was probable, but I didn’t know much of the Sforzas in Milan. 

We arrived in the familiar courtyard before sundown, and Paolo took our horses and brought them into the stable. 

“La Bella Farnese. What a treat.” Giovanni greeted as we walked into their dining hall. I hadn’t anticipated seeing another female beside Lord Sforza.   
“Quite a treat indeed. It’s a surprise to see you here, Catherina Sforza.”

I held back a gasp.   
_ “And then, of course, you have Catherina Sforza. The bitch of the north, but more commonly termed the Tigress of Forli. She is  _ **_incredible_ ** _. For a woman to have such knowledge of war is rare, but for her to execute it in a formidable manner is even rarer.” _

“Lady Orsini. Back so soon?” Giovanni asked in a taunting manner.   
“Simply accompanying Lady Farnese, and hoping to see my dear friend again.”

Giovanni ‘hmmed’. “Lady Lucrezia is currently indisposed.”   
I frowned. I wouldn’t hesitate to reach across the table and strangle Lord Sforza if she was indisposed from his doing. Perhaps Cesare's behavior was starting to rub off on me.

“So, Lady Farnese, perhaps you can confirm to us some rumors we’ve heard about the Holy Father?” Catherina suggested, sipping from a wine chalice cautiously.   
Giulia pondered for a few moments, dragging her index finger across the mahogany table as she walked around the end to face the Sforzas a little bit closer.  “If you’re asking me about the events surrounding the Pope… He will never accept deposition, no matter how hard Italy tries.”   
Giovanni scoffed. “Then we are all doomed.”

Catherina laughed at both Giovanni and Giulia.  “‘Tis the House of Borgia that is doomed.”

\----

I really didn’t like Catherina Sforza. It was borderline _hate_ , if I were to be completely honest of my feelings towards her.

Dinner was an awkward affair, without the presence of Lucrezia, whom we were barred from seeing. The table felt significantly longer with Giulia and I being practically quarantined at the opposite end of the table from Giovanni and Catherina. The Sforza cousins were relentless with their pestering of the Roman affairs that the Holy Father was involved in. I was slightly grateful not to be close with Rodrigo, but I felt bad for Giulia as she was interrogated while trying to enjoy her food. 

I had a plan, however, which I divulged to Giulia prior to our meal.   
Essentially, we would wait for both of the Sforzas to retire before visiting Lucrezia in her chambers. 

It was quite late before a servant reported to me that both Giovanni and Catherina had gone to bed. I snuck out of my room and sauntered over to Giulia’s. She was awake, and patiently waiting for my arrival.

“I wonder what it could be? What types of illness could be caught in these mountains?” I questioned Giulia as I led her up to Lucrezia’s room.   
“I know not.” Giulia sighed.

We quietly entered Lucrezia’s room, rushing to her side. I soaked a cloth in the cold water basin by her bed and pressed it to her forehead.

“Oh, I am truly visited by living angels.” Lucrezia said softly as Giulia stroked her hand.   
“We are here now, dear sis.” I cooed, stroking her sweaty hair back.   
“Tell me your symptoms, my dear.” Giulia insisted. 

Lucrezia swallowed harshly before beginning to speak. “I am ill in the mornings. I expel the contents of my stomach from the night before. I find myself weak and sweaty, but those come and go. I try my hardest to eat the food served to me, but for some reason I cannot stomach the wine or chicken.”

I looked over at Giulia hesitantly, hoping that her wisdom as an older woman would help guide Lucrezia through this. 

“I fear that it is marsh fever,” Lucrezia added, turning her attention to me, “Djem has been visiting my dreams again.”  
“Oh, my poor Lucrezia.” I pressed the cold cloth to her head once more.

“Dearest Lucrezia… I know of these symptoms.” Giulia said in a low voice.”   
Lucrezia rose her head weakly, eyes burning with curiosity. 

“My love… You are with child.” 

  
  



	8. Il Campo di Battaglia (The Battlefield)

We departed Pesaro almost immediately after Giulia’s realization.  Giovanni had been bedridden for months; there was no way that he was the father of Lucrezia’s child, and the scandal that would surround that would be terribly detrimental to the Borgia cause.   
But, as scary as the situation was, I still couldn’t help but feel extremely happy for Lucrezia. A child of her own, with someone who she wanted. If I was honest, I was a little envious, but happy all the same. 

We rode onwards, towards Rome, but Lucrezia, feeling rather ill, begged for a short pause in our ride. 

“I fear pregnancy is not as I had expected. It is like a common illness.” Lucrezia laughed as she mounted her horse after relieving herself in the forest.   
Giulia chuckled. “How very true. But it is wonderful that you will become a mother soon. It is a feeling like no other.” 

Truly. But poor Lucrezia seemed quite miserable. Her temperature was constantly changing and she was constantly nauseous; it seemed all too unpleasant. 

We sat chatting for a moment too long. As we began to ride again, we were met with an unexpected visitor, and that of an unknown armor. As he spoke, however, I recognized him to be a French soldier. 

“These are dangerous roads for such beautiful ladies to ride by themselves.”   
“So it seems.” Giulia replied sarcastically.  
“Where are you heading?”  
“To Rome, my lord.”   
“Then you shall arrive with a French escort. Come.”

My heart was nearly jumping out of my body. I looked hesitantly at Lucrezia and Giulia, who exchanged the same feeling of uneasiness with me before we followed the soldier who beckoned.

“I wonder how Cesare would feel about this.” I whispered to Lucrezia as we rode to catch up.   
But Lucrezia had no time to answer. As we rounded the hilltop, we saw the sea of Frenchmen that seemed to have no end in either direction. 

“My God.” Giulia breathed.  
“Impressive, _non_? Rome doesn’t stand a chance.” The soldier chuckled. 

Lucrezia looked deep in thought when I looked back at her. 

“My brother has much to fear, it seems.” Lucrezia sighed.  
“Your brother is a Roman soldier? Pity.” The soldier scoffed.   
“I presume your King rides with you?” Lucrezia pondered aloud.  
“Of course, my lady. He leads us with his expertise.” 

It was quiet for a few moments as Lucrezia studied the horizon intently. 

“I, as Lucrezia Borgia, daughter of the Pope of Rome, would request an audience with your king. I would also request that the Pope’s mistress, Giulia Farnese, be in attendance. And, of course, my dearest friend, and niece and ward of the Cardinal Orsino Orsini, Stefania Orsini, accompany me.” 

The soldier looked shocked as our identities were revealed to him. Suddenly, we were no longer simple country maidens looking for passage to Rome, but we were women of status; of importance. Suddenly, our treatment mattered. We were to be treated to the highest degree, and waited on hand and foot. It was evident when the soldier took us to a private tent that was lavishly furnished. 

“So, it’s fairly obvious we’ve become excellent hostages to the French army. Do we have a plan?” Giulia asked once we were alone.  
I shrugged. Once again, I tried to use Cesare’s ramble of war to assist in a strategy, but there was no further knowledge to help us.  But Lucrezia, much to my surprise, had something planned. 

“Giulia, do you remember what you told me? To use my beauty and wits as weapons when there were no physical weapons to protect myself with.”   
Giulia nodded solemnly. “I recall saying that.”  
“I propose, as three beautiful women, that we use that to our advantage. Make the king see us as walking angels.”   
I nodded. “I agree. We should flirt, but not too much. Just enough to get him wrapped around our fingers and to do our bidding.”

Giulia hummed in agreeance, but was cut short by the tarp to the tent being opened. 

I was entirely too surprised to see Cardinal Giuliano Della Rovere enter our space.

“When the King asked me to invite you all to dinner, I could hardly believe that you were here in our camp. But here you stand.”  
“Here we stand, Cardinal, and here you stand, with the very army that threatens to invade the headquarters of Christendom. Have you no shame?” Lucrezia scolded.   
Giuliano chuckled. “You’d be surprised how much I have spared fair Italy by my riding with the army. May I report to the King that you three will be in attendance for dinner?”   
“You may.” Lucrezia answered for us. 

Giuliano nodded, and went to turn out of the tent before stopping, and turning the upper half of his body back to us.  “Although, I suppose the King or I may very well not make it through dinner if Lady Orsini is in attendance. I seem to recall her Uncle didn’t make it through the last group meal.” 

My face grew hot as the Cardinal smirked and left our tent. 

“How dare he.” I said through my teeth as my hands began to shake with anger.  
The poison wasn’t even of my own doing, though I suppose I was guilty through association. Still, it was quite shocking that he would think to say such an insult to me when I had done him no harm. 

\-----

“Surprised you made it through the night, Cardinal? Perhaps I’m not the scary Orsini you deem me to be.” I joked as we rode with the army out to the battlefield. 

Dinner was a boisterous affair. Lucrezia, going along with our stratagem, flirted and joked with the King, even going as fair to tell his fortune. I could see the enamourment in his eyes. She got him wrapped around her finger with minimal effort, and I was quite impressed. 

“I would answer that truthfully and say that I am. I have made myself quite the enemy of the Pope, whom you are all so close with.”

I mentally joked with myself, wondering if it would make me more attractive to Cesare if I had a hand in Giuliano’s downfall. But, I supposed it would do the opposite.   
I rode my horse ahead to catch up with Lucrezia, Giulia, and the King. I wasn’t surprised to see Giuliano following close behind. 

“They are chained together, dear Lucrezia. It cuts through the front line  _ like butter _ .” 

What a horrible conversation to ride into.

“Can you elaborate, Your Highness? I’m afraid the Cardinal and I were talking quite a ways behind, and we’ve missed the contents of your conversation.” I asked, batting my eyelashes at him.   
“Of course, my lady. Lady Lucrezia asked why we have cannons if they are generally used to infiltrate cities. I told her we have specialized ours to specific needs, and we use cannon balls that are chained together to cut through the waves of men to allow an easier battle. You will see.”

Oh, but how I hoped I would  _ not _ see. Nausea crept into my throat as the King described the carnage in great detail. 

“I would hazard, Your Highness, that this is no conversation for women to hear.” Giulia warned, seeing both Lucrezia and I turned various shades of green.  
“My apologies, fair ladies.” 

The conversations amongst us had ceased as the French soldiers began to load the cannons. 

“I-Is it loud, Your Highness?” Lucrezia asked, nervousness present in her tone of voice.  
"Quite, My Lady. I would suggest you cover your ears.” 

Lucrezia swallowed harshly as her shaky hands raised to cover her ears. 

The sheer force of the cannons could be felt within our bodies as the magnificent sound echoed across the battlefield.   
All of us women gasped in horror as we saw the damage being done by the chained cannonballs. 

“Stop! Stop, Your Highness!” Lucrezia begged as the King began to instruct his men to reload the cannons.  
“Stop?” The King was confused; the word rolled off his tongue as if it was the first time he had ever said it.   
“Y-Yes, Your Highness. Just for a moment.”

Lucrezia kicked her horse roughly, causing him to gallop forward towards the Roman army.   
Giulia looked at me desperately, and I rode after Lucrezia in an attempt to stop her. 

“I have a plan!” Lucrezia informed me as I caught up to her.

Soon enough, the gonfaloniere Juan Borgia rode out to meet us. 

“Lucrezia? Stefania? Do mine eyes deceive me?”  
“It is us, brother. We, along with Giulia Farnese, have been taken hostage by the French army. But brother! You have already lost! The French army will stop at nothing! You will not live to see the next hour if you continue fighting.” Lucrezia spoke rapidly. 

Juan looked at Lucrezia frantically, then at me, most likely for reassurance. 

“I know not the ways of war, Juan, but I know a lost cause when I see one. Lucrezia is right.” I said.   
“I can’t retreat… I-”  
“Just give your terms, Juan, nevermind the feelings involved. Ensure passage to Naples in exchange for the bloodless entry into Rome. Rome will forgive your surrender, Juan. It is not always a cowardly move.” Lucrezia spoke rapidly.

Juan looked to be in complete agony as he pondered his choices. 

I glanced back at the French, who looked to be very impatient with our sporadic event.   
“Juan,” I said gently, “I fear we don’t have much time to make a decision. I second what Lucrezia is saying; Rome will forgive you when they learn that you saved them.” 

Juan gritted his teeth together before nodding sharply and turning away from us. As we rode away from each other, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief. Rome would live to see another day. Cesare, Rodrigo, everybody; they would be spared.   
I made a mental note to speak highly of Lucrezia’s military prowess, or at least her high charisma skills which allowed for a nearly bloodless entry into Rome. 

“It was my brother, your highness.He is the gonfaloniere.” Lucrezia called out as we reached the front lines again.   
“Your brother is retreating? Surrendering?” The King questioned.  
“On the contrary, Your Highness, he bids you welcome to Rome! He asks for the bloodless entry into our fair city in exchange for uninterrupted passage to Naples. That is your goal, is it not? To reclaim your kingdom of Naples?” 

The King pondered the terms for a moment.  “Yes. Naples.” He said slowly. 

It was surely disappointing for someone who cared so much for bloodshed. His fantasies of this day were being crushed by a fifteen year old girl.   
But us Romans were relieved, and if I was honest, Cardinal Della Rovere’s expression betrayed his alliance - he seemed just as relieved as we did. 

We rode to Rome with the emasculated French army, and I was shocked to see how empty the city was once we had passed the gates. I shouldn’t have been as surprised as I was - those who could flee Rome  _ did _ , and those who could not flee simply went into hiding. Why would you greet and cheer on an army who had threatened to destroy your very city? 

“While you are here, you would surely want an audience with my father, the Pope of Rome, correct?” Lucrezia asked as we approached St. Peter’s.   
“Indeed, my lady.”  
“A  _ private _ audience, Your Highness?”  
King Charles nodded.   
“Then I shall take you to him! I seem to recall where he can be found between prime and terce.” 

Lucrezia was helped off her horse, and began to lead King Charles towards the cathedral.   
I knew not what her strategy was, as Giulia and I exchanged hesitant glances, but whatever it was, I trusted her. Everything, under her guidance, had gone well so far. I was inclined to trust her. 

Lucrezia returned rather quickly, and beckoned for us to follow her into the Vatican, leaving the army standing in the square of St. Peter’s.  
“We are no longer prisoners. Come, Stefania! I wish to find Cesare.”

My heart skipped a few beats, and a sense of anxiety washed over me. I was curious to see how Cesare would react to us being held hostage, but at the same time, I was anxious that he would be angry with me for allowing us to be captured by the French army.   
It didn’t take us long roaming around the empty halls of the Vatican to stumble across Cesare who fawned over us immediately; showering both of us with hugs and kisses. 

“You have no idea how happy I am to see that you are both safe. I feared I would have to slaughter the entire French army myself to find you.” Cesare sighed as we all began to walk together.  
“There was no need, brother. We used both our beauty and our wit.” Lucrezia winked.   
Cesare shook his head. “How awful that you were captured in the first place. The French army certainly has the gaul to take three noble women of Rome captive.” 

It suddenly hit me that Cesare knew nothing of the circumstances surrounding our capture; only that we had been captured. He didn’t know of Lucrezia’s pregnancy, and he didn’t know that the only reason we were captured was because we were fleeing her husband, who was  _ not _ that father of her child. 

“Pray tell, dear sis, did your husband allow for your capture? Did he offer you up to the French army like a lamb to the slaughter?” 

Lucrezia’s sudden gasp caught us both off guard, and we rushed to her aide as she fell, weak in her knees. 

“Sis? What is it?” Cesare asked frantically as Lucrezia kept lowering to the ground in her faint manner.   
“I… Cesare… Stef… You must tell him…” Lucrezia gasped as she began to faint further.

Cesare looked at me, more worried than I had ever seen him; tears glistened at the sides of his eyes.   
“Lucrezia is with child.” I said softly.  
Cesare’s expression turned from fear to confusion.  
“Why haven’t we heard of this in Rome? Why must this be kept such a secret.”

I shook my head and bit my tongue. “It is not my business to tell, Cesare. Lucrezia will discuss what she wants with you when she is ready. Come, we must get her off the ground and into a bed where she will be more comfortable.”  
Cesare fumed with anger as we helped Lucrezia into her chambers, but I brushed it off. It was Lucrezia’s child, so she needed to be the one to tell her brother of the situation surrounding her child. 

I was all too happy to be back in my palace after the events I had gone through within the past week. Between Pesaro and the French army, nothing was more hospitable than my own palace, with my own staff. 

“I suppose, in the grand scheme of things, that it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. Our status surely helped our treatment.” I described to Gia as I prepared myself for bed.   
“Truly, my lady, you were lucky. Armies tend to be vicious with the women they come across. Your innocence is still intact?” 

I laughed and nodded. “Thank God. I know of soldiers who rape and pillage women. But we were treated with the utmost respect. Our accommodations were not unlike that of the King’s.”   
Gia sighed. “Ah, to be in the presence of a king.”  
“You should have seen Lucrezia. She holds so much power over King Charles. She has him wrapped around her little finger. I would wager that, without her, Rome would be smoldering right now.”   
“How wonderful it is, then, to have such a great friendship with Lady Borgia.” 

I was only in beed for what seemed like a few minutes when Gia entered my room again.

“Lady Orsini, you have a visitor.”  
“And would you call me a soothsayer if I said I knew who it was? Send him in, Gia.”

Cesare was all too predictable; as angry as he was with me earlier in the day, my disappearance from Rome for such a time would’ve surely put him on edge. He couldn’t stay away.

“Hello, my dove.”  
I smiled softly at him. “Am I no longer your  _ little _ dove?” 

He chuckled and approached me, sitting on the side of bed and looking down at me.  “You will  _ always _ be my little dove. But I hear of your maturity regarding your capture, and your assistance to my sister. You are becoming a young woman indeed.” 

Indeed I was. But I had no real direction in my life. Though, Lucrezia’s impending birth would surely give me a purpose. I could help her take care of her child so she wouldn’t have to be a single parent. 

“I must admit that I was ready to take Micheletto and ride out to the French army to rescue you and Lucrezia. I feared for your safety. I would gladly slay any many who laid a finger upon you.”  
I nodded gently. “I know, Ces, but thankfully I was with Lucrezia and Lady Farnese. While I am a woman of status and nobility, I fear that my status is far less than that of Giulia and Lucrezia. I very easily could have been raped or hurt by the army without a second glance. I feel very blessed and grateful to have been treated in the manner that I was.” 

I didn’t miss that Cesare was balling and unballing his fists in anger.   
“Calm yourself, Ces. It’s over now. We are all safe now.” 

Cesare climbed into bed with me, but he was not overly affectionate as I had anticipated him to be. But he held me close as we talked quietly. 

“Tell me of the father of my sister’s child. What is he like?”  
I was hesitant to answer Cesare’s question, but his gentle fingertips caressing the bare skin of my shoulder persuaded me to give in.  
“He is kind. A simple peasant, a groomsman, but  _ kind _ . He isn’t educated, he has no money or status. But I really don’t think that matters; Lucrezia loves him. She calls him her Narcissus.”  
Cesare laughed softly. “ _ Narcissus _ . I care not for his assets or his status. The fact that he makes Lucrezia happy and helped her in Pesaro is all that matters to me.” 

I really shouldn’t have been as shocked as I was, but it was the Borgia status which I had attributed to high taste. Cesare was no stranger to the spoils of the rich lifestyle. I suppose it was mainly Juan’s pickiness with the women offered to him which led me to believe that all Borgias were picky with the legitimacy and status of their potentially betrothed. 

“I agree. She doesn’t have to be tied down to that monster of a husband through child. I only hope her marriage can be annulled, or at the very least, I hope she is granted a divorce.” I sighed, tangling my fingers within Cesare’s curly hair. 

I almost gasped aloud when I caught myself wondering that, if Cesare were to get me pregnant, if our children would have his curly hair, or my straight hair.   
I had too many thoughts on my mind. I knew that I was only considering this because I was somewhat jealous of Lucrezia’s pregnancy, and I knew that motherhood was years away if I didn’t find a husband soon. 

We drifted off to sleep peacefully, and I dreamt of little curly haired sons and daughters running around the Orsini Palace. 

  
  



	9. La Perdita (The Loss)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, finally the chapter you've all been waiting for... It's not very detailed, but I promise it's just in the context. It WILL get better and more in-depth, but this chapter called for a... short... Liaison... You'll see ;) 
> 
> Also it is consensual underage sex, just as a trigger warning for this chapter.

𝑀𝓎 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝒮𝒾𝓈,

𝐼 𝓌𝑜𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝒾𝓉’𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝓌𝑒’𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝒸𝑒𝒹 𝑒𝒶𝒸𝒽 𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇’𝓈 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒? 𝒞𝑒𝓈𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓈𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓇𝒾𝒷𝓁𝓎 𝒷𝓊𝓈𝓎 𝓉𝑒𝓃𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒶𝒻𝒻𝒶𝒾𝓇𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓅𝒶𝓁𝒶𝒸𝑒, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝐼 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝒶𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝓇𝓊𝑒. 𝐼𝒻 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓋𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓈 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝓊𝓃𝒸𝑜𝓂𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓉𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒, 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓈 𝓌𝑒 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝓂𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒶 𝓅𝒾𝒸𝓃𝒾𝒸 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒?

𝒯𝓇𝓊𝓁𝓎, 𝒮𝓉𝑒𝒻𝒶𝓃𝒾𝒶, 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓈𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝑜𝓃 𝒶 𝒷𝑒𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒾𝒻𝓊𝓁 𝒿𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓃𝑒𝓎. 𝑀𝓎 𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝑔𝓊𝓃 𝓉𝑜 𝓀𝒾𝒸𝓀! 𝒞𝑜𝓂𝑒, 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒸𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓎 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝓌𝑜𝓂𝒷. 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝓇𝑒𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓉 𝒾𝓉. 

𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒,   
𝐿𝓊𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓏𝒾𝒶 

“I really should go and see her, but the thought of standing face to face with  _ Sister Martha _ really boils my blood.”   
Ursula’s new name rolled off my tongue with a ferocity that I had never heard escape my mouth. 

Lucrezia had been sent away to a convent for the remainder of her pregnancy, and as fate would have it, it was the same convent where Ursula Bonadeo now resided.

  
Gia scoffed. “My Lady, respectfully, you have nothing to worry about with Lady Bonadeo. Surely Cesare hasn’t violated her since she took the cloth, so he must simply appreciate her appearance, and even that has been diminished with her nun’s shift. You have nothing more to detest, My Lady.”  
I frowned. Sometimes I wished I hadn’t allowed Gia to become so close to me; it allowed her to speak too freely. But, then again, she had a point. Cesare was fucking other women, that much was true, but he was not as infatuated with them as he was with me and Ursula. 

“Fine. Prepare my horse, then. I would ride out tomorrow morning.” I said sharply, tossing the letter onto the table and marching off for a little private time to myself. A private time to pout, more like. 

Cesare’s presence did not grace my chambers that night, and for that, I was grateful. I needed my mind clear. I practiced and rehearsed what I would say to Ursula if she confronted me. Cesare would only be a distraction (albeit a very pleasant one). 

The horizon was painted with all the beautiful colors of morning as I rode out to the convent in solitude. It didn’t do me any good having any chaperones, so I left everyone behind at the palace. There was no need for any assistance here.   
I had just dismounted Cosmo and was leading him to the stable when a nun approached me. 

Unfortunately, I knew exactly who she was before she had even announced her name. How fate was _so_ cruel to me.

“Stefania Orsini, how delightful! Lucrezia will be so excited to see you! I’m Sister Martha, I’ve been caring for her since her arrival here.”   
My mind went blank, like someone had just burnt the mental parchment upon which my plan was written out on.   
“Indeed,” I spoke softly as I turned to face her, “I’m excited to see my dear sis as well.” 

Ursula was more beautiful than I had imagined, though as we walked into the convent, I tried to picture her as she appeared at the wedding - long, golden hair, a form fitting dress that complimented her mature body all too well.   
Now she wore shifts which drowned her body, giving no inclination to how it looked underneath. And it seemed as though she no longer possessed the flowing locks that were present so many months ago. 

“Lady Lucrezia resides in the cell at the end of the hallway on the right. Please let me know if there’s anything you need.” Ursula said, pointing down a long hallway that we had come across.  
“Thank you, Sister Martha. You are too kind.” I replied in the same soft tone as earlier before I started down the hallway.

I had barely knocked on the door before Lucrezia answered it and practically jumped into my arms. 

“Oh! Stefania! Oh!” Lucrezia cried as we retreated into her room and shut the door behind us.  
“Don’t cry, Lucrezia. I am here now. I cannot bear to miss any more of your pregnancy.” 

I glanced down at Lucrezia’s growing stomach. She quickly grabbed my hand and pressed it to her lower abdomen. Within a few seconds, there was a slight flutter against the skin.   
“The baby is quite strong when it wants to be.” Lucrezia giggled. 

She was absolutely glowing, her skin completely clear of any blemish. She looked completely healthy, and more beautiful than I could ever hope to be. 

We chatted nearly all day, and it was only after our evening meal that Lucrezia began to grow drowsy. I bade her goodbye after feeling her baby kick once more, and tucked her into bed before leaving her cell. 

The convent was a rather quiet place at dusk. As I made my way backwards through the path that Ursula had shown me that morning, I secretly wondered if the nuns were content with a life of chastity. For all intents and purposes, I was practically a nun. I had a leg up on most of the women here; I still possessed my virginity. 

I wandered around more, and eventually stumbled across the small chapel. There was one nun in there, but it was, of course, the nun that had not left my mind all day. She stood by the windows, clearly deep in thought as she watched the sun disappear behind the horizon.

“Sister Martha.” I called out.   
She jumped slightly, before turning her attention to me. “Oh, Lady Orsini! My apologies, how can I help you?”

I shook my head and walked over to her, standing a small distance away as I peered out the windows. 

“I envy you, Sister Martha.” The words sounded strangled as they left my mouth.   
“Envy me, Lady Orsini?”  
I nodded. “Entirely too envious. I pray for God’s forgiveness.”   
I caught Ursula’s gentle smile from the corner of my eye. “God forgives all who seek forgiveness.”   
“Indeed.”

We were silent for a few moments. 

“May I ask the nature of your jealousy, Lady Orsini? I am but a lowly nun.”   
I laughed painfully. “I love Cesare Borgia, Sister,” Ursula’s face fell, “But you have gotten to love him in a way that I never have or never will. I refuse to let him take my innocence.” 

“Oh.” Ursula squeaked. It was a touchy subject, no doubt.  
“So I envy you, Ursula Bonadeo. I envy you for your love. I fear I will never be able to experience it.” The tears were coming, despite my opposition.   
“Oh, Lady Orsini. He is a gentle lover. I fear I would break the rules of my cloth in a heartbeat to be with him again, but I mustn’t be tempted.” 

The pain in my chest grew exponentially. 

“If you may allow me to clarify, you won’t let him bed you because you are a virgin? But he wants to bed you?”  
I nodded.   
“Lady Orsini, you of all people should know that Cesare Borgia gets whatever pleases him. He is spoiled in that sense. Opposition rarely finds him.”  
“But I have opposed him for months.”  
“I fear that your opposition will not last much longer, my lady.”

I was terrified that Ursula was right. 

“If I may, I’d like to apologize, Sister Martha. It was unfair of me to make such assumptions of you before even having the pleasure of meeting you.”  
Ursula smiled gently; almost painfully. “All is forgiven, Lady Orsini. Cesare Borgia has obsessions; he can never let us go.” 

That much was true. He would never be able to let either of us go. 

_ Till death do us part _ . 

“I feel so guilty, Gia. She’s so kind. She’s been worn through the years. Nobody left to turn to but God.” I sighed, stepping out of my daywear.   
“That’s so wonderful to hear, my lady. I suppose you will be back to the convent soon?”  
I nodded. “Quite soon. I intend on being with Lucrezia for the remainder of her pregnancy, and helping her after the birth.” 

And so I did. I visited Lucrezia quite often to entertain her. We laughed, we cried, we prayed. It was peaceful. Time had passed so much so that I had hardly realized it had been weeks since I had seen Cesare.

“Little Dove.” 

I nearly jumped as I entered my room and saw him sitting on my bed. 

“Ces! How delightful.” I said, setting down my candle and rushing over to him. 

It felt good to be back in his arms.  “Remind me, how long has it been since you graced my chambers?”  
“Too long.” He said before leaning in for a kiss. 

But it was short. Passionate, but short. 

“Is there something on your mind, my love? You seem so distant.” I said as Cesare removed me from his brace.   
“I am… Distant. I have some news to share, my dove, but I do not want it to upset your cheerful mood.”  
I frowned. “Please, Cesare, you may tell me anything.”   
“Do you know what a legate is, Stefania?”  
I cringed. “I’m afraid I do not, Ces.”  
He sighed before continuing. “It’s basically a glorified hostage.”

I cocked my head. “Hostage?”   
Cesare nodded. “And I am to be the legate of the Papal Throne to the French army. They’re taking me with them on their conquest to Naples.”   
“Well, I suppose Rome will miss your presence for a few months. I only hope you’d be back in time for Lucrezia’s birth.”

Cesare turned back to me and sat down once more.  “If I am ever back.”

My heart dropped into my stomach, and I felt as if I might expel the contents of my stomach right then and there. 

“Oh. Oh, Ces.” I began to get choked up with utter sadness.   
“Don’t cry, my dove. I would do my very best to make a quick return to Rome.”  
“Oh, Ces.” I wailed. No other words were able to come out of my mouth. 

He held me close to him as I cried. Once again, my mind had gone blank. I wondered if they would treat him as well as they treated us women, or if they would treat him like a common prisoner. 

“My dove, I may very well never see you again. I want to spend tonight with you before I am taken away in the morning.”  
“Of course, Cesare.” 

I changed into my night-shift and crawled into bed with Cesare. He brought me close to him and rubbed my back gently.

Before I knew it, we were kissing passionately, and my night-shift was no longer on my body. 

Cesare pulled away from me as I began to feel around his pants. I immediately hung my head in shame.   
“I’m sorry, Ces, I just wanted to pleasure you before you go and-”  
“Shh, Stefania. I wasn’t pulling away because of that. I was pulling away because… I was afraid I might not be able to stop myself. If this is indeed the last time I am seeing you, then to bed you would be my ultimate wish.” 

Oh. 

He truly does always get what he wants, doesn’t he?

“Cesare Borgia. I have given much thought to this,” I had dwelled on the conversations that Ursula and I had had for many nights since my appearance at the convent became a regular affair, “And I suppose there’s no man in this world that I trust more than you. So rather than have some strange, harsh man take it… I will let you be the one to take my innocence.” 

Cesare looked up from his lap, almost utterly shocked that I had given in.  “You’re sure?”  
I nodded. “As circumstances bring us together… I fear this is God giving me my last chance to have a pleasant experience. Should you die out there… I would never forgive myself for not allowing you to be the gentle one to bed me first.” 

Cesare grinned and began to kiss me passionately once more, this time allowing me access into his pants.  His member was formidable, but I was no stranger to it; Cesare and I had done  _ everything _ except actually have sex.  But tonight, like most nights, was all about  _ my _ pleasure. 

Cesare worked wonders with his hands, focusing on my breasts before moving lower.  A sigh of pleasure escaped my mouth as he began to build me up, taking his thumb and rubbing it on my clitoris and sliding two fingers inside me. 

Cesare gave me no time to pleasure him orally, as much as I wanted to. “No need to worry about that tonight, my dove. It's a privilege to bed you.”   
“Please be gentle.” I whimpered as I saw Cesare begin to ready himself.   
“If anything hurts,  _ please _ tell me and I’ll stop.” He whispered as he inserted himself into me. 

He started with just the tip, pulling it in and out a few times, and rubbing and gliding his member across my sex before inserting himself more. 

I grimaced at the pressure. I pitied Lucrezia even more than I had before. Even though I was quite lubricated, and Cesare was being as gentle as possible as he rocked his hips, it was still somewhat painful. 

“Are you alright?” Cesare asked, immediately removing himself from me.   
I nodded vigorously. “Just continue, Ces. It will cease.” 

Cesare nodded and, with my permission, reinserted himself and began to thrust gently. He returned his finger to my clit and the pleasure immediately intensified.   
It began to feel incredibly good, with just a little bit of pain mixed in as he went deeper and deeper. 

We kissed and looked at each other as the deed was finally being done. It was more magical and pleasurable than I could have ever imagined.

It wasn’t long before Cesare finished, removing himself just in time before ejaculating onto my stomach.   
“No little Cesare Orsini’s running around Rome.” He sighed, pecking me on the lips before climbing off the bed and going to my linen closet to fetch me a cloth.

And that was it. Just like that, my innocence was gone. Within a matter of less than an hour, everything that I had been saving for the past 14 years were gone. 

“Why are you crying?” Cesare inquired as he wiped his ejaculate from my body.   
“I’m afraid for you, Ces. I am afraid that this will be the last time I see you.” I sobbed.   
He tossed the cloth away and climbed into bed with me, holding me against his body and rocking me softly.  
“Little Dove, don’t fret,” he cooed, speaking into my hair softly, “Micheletto will be with me.”

My heart sank into my stomach as my tears ceased. I pulled away from Cesare and looked at him with accusing eyes.  “Ces, Micheletto would never let any harm come to you.” I said softly.  
The wheels slowly turning into my head as I quickly made conclusions that were… Painful… To make. 

“I suppose that’s true.” He answered.   
I sighed deeply. “Then, your life was never in danger,was it? The question of your return was never real. It was a rouse, an excuse to  _ finally _ take my innocence.” My throat burned as I choked back the tears.

Cesare inhaled sharply. It didn’t matter what he said - I knew the truth. Both Cesare and Micheletto were formidable fighters. And as ‘legate’ for the Papal Throne, surely they would be returned, or at the very least, escape. It wasn’t like Cesare to have his wings clipped. He was hostage to nobody but himself. 

“God, Ursula was right!” I spat, the mention of Ursula causing Cesare to be taken aback, “You’re spoiled. You always get what you want, no matter  _ what _ it takes.” 

I removed myself from the bed and quickly found my gown.

“Ursula? Ursula Bonadeo? You  _ spied _ on me?!” Cesare shouted.  
“I did! Boo hoo, Cesare, make a big deal out of it if you must, but you yourself have spies. I  _ loved _ you. I needed to know what was going on.”

Cesare scoffed and ran a hand through his sweaty hair. “You’re insane, Stefania. But better now by my hand than by a cruel man! I’m protecting you, you’ll see!”   
I laughed. “Now you can get out of my palace and leave me be for the rest of my life, no need to see how much  _ better _ you’ve made me!”   
“This is why you’ll never have a husband, Stefania!”  
“Well congratulations on contributing to that, now that I no longer have my virginity to offer!” 

He shook his head and bit his tongue as he laughed. “I knew it. I knew you would throw it back in my face the moment I was finished having sex with you. It was  _ your _ decision, _you_ have to live with it!”  
“I’ll have an easier time dealing with it when you’re gone! Get the hell out of my palace!” I screamed, throwing objects from my vanity at him, urging him to leave.

Cesare quickly put his clothing items on and left the room, slamming the door behind him as I sat down on my bed, crying. 

The large red stain in the middle of the sheets was hard to ignore. 

A few minutes after Cesare’s departure, Gia came bursting into my room.  After she noticed the blood on the bed, and the tears falling from my eyes, she knew immediately what our screaming match had been about. 

“Oh, my lady. I’m so sorry.” Gia said, sitting next to me on the bed and pulling me close to her.   
“He’s awful. Truly awful. I trusted him.”  
“Was it rape, my lady?”  
I shook my head vigorously. “No, I allowed him to take my innocence. It’s just that he kind of… Tricked me into allowing him.”  
Gia nodded. “I see.”   
“He’s so manipulative… But like Ursula said, he always gets what he wants. She was right about everything.  
“Even the part about being a gentle lover?”  
I burst into tears again. “Especially that part.”

Gia comforted me for another hour or so before offering to change my sheets and giving me supplies in case I were to bleed more. 

My bed felt entirely too lonely, and I almost caught myself wishing that I hadn’t confronted Cesare in the manner that I did just so he could sleep in the same bed as me. 

It was cold. And empty. But so was Cesare’s heart, apparently, and I had to come to terms with the fact that, after the explosive argument, we were most likely done. Done hanging out, done being sexual,  _ done _ .

And that itself was the most painful moment of the evening. 


	10. La Nascita (The Birth)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter, feel free to skip :)

Lucrezia was nearly done with her pregnancy, and it had been quite the journey. Mostly exciting, but slightly scary at the same time. Lucrezia was a only bit older than me, and I had just barely turned fifteen. 

But as happy as I was for her, I had been dreading the birth for the past few months, but the only reason for my dread was not panic or fear for Lucrezia or the baby’s life.

It was because of Cesare.

I hadn’t seen him since the fateful night that I lost my virginity to him, a subject that I had cried to Ursula about for many nights in the convent, and I knew he would be there. The whole Borgia family would be there. 

Lucrezia had about a week left, to Ursula and the nurse’s predictions, so I had moved into her cell to assist her with moving around and getting her to where she needed to be. 

“Oh, my. It’s kicking quite stronger today.” Lucrezia grimaced as I helped her up from her bed and began walking her over to our dining table.   
“Are you alright?” I asked as Lucrezia stopped in her tracks. She held onto my arm to steady herself, and breathed sharply for a few moments before raising back up.   
“Yes, I’m fine.” 

But another step forward determined that she was _not_ fine. 

“Oh!” Lucrezia gasped, and suddenly the ground below us was soaked.   
“Lucrezia…?”  
“I- My water has broken.” She said with an eerie sense of calmness.   
“Oh!” I said in a panicked tone, and quickly changed our destination back to the bed. Once she was settled in, I ran out of the chambers to get Ursula and the nurse. 

“Lucrezia’s water has broken!” I alerted them, and we sprung into action. Unfortunately, one of those actions, completed by another sister of the convent, was alerting the family of Lucrezia’s labor. 

“It hurts!” Lucrezia screamed as Ursula and I tended to her.

It had been hours. To my knowledge, nearly all of the Roman Borgia’s were waiting in the hallway. But I tried to forget that Cesare was so near. My attention had to be solely focused on Lucrezia and the baby. 

“Stefania,” Lucrezia gasped, grabbing my hand and yanking me closer to her, “Promise me. Promise me you’ll care for my child if I die.”   
Her eyes were weak but blazing, and she was dripping sweat by the bucketful.   
“I will not let you or your child die, my dear sis. I swear upon all that is holy.”   
Lucrezia seemed to relax a little bit, but Ursula and I were still stressed and panicking. 

Another long, brutal hour later, and the screams and cries of Lucrezia’s son could be heard throughout the entire convent. 

“Oh my goodness, I’m so proud of you.” I said, a tear rolling down my cheek as I handed Lucrezia her newborn son.   
“Oh, he’s beautiful.” Lucrezia sobbed as she looked down at her child. 

As Ursula and I began to clean everything up and tend to Lucrezia to stop her bleeding, the family slowly began to make their way into the chamber. 

“It’s a boy.” Ursula announced, grinning from ear to ear. 

Cesare’s glittering smile made my heart stop. I kept my head down as I grabbed some of the items to be disposed of and exited the room.   
My chest felt tight, and my heart felt as if it was about to explode.   
I brought the stained linens into the laundry room and set them down, and immediately I began to cry. 

I tried to cry as soundlessly as I could. I was beyond happy for Lucrezia - _beyond_ happy. I just couldn’t bear to be in Cesare’s presence when I knew he didn’t want to share this happy moment with me. We had upset each other past the point of return. 

“Stefania?”

I gasped, and spun around to see Sancia, Joffre’s wife, standing in the doorway. 

“Are you alright?”  
I nodded, pushing the tears out of my face. “Oh, it’s such an emotional day. Someday, I hope to have a son of my own.”  
Sancia smiled and approached me. “Don’t we all.” 

She handed me her handkerchief and I patted my face dry. 

“We should find you a husband, then. Perhaps now that everything is taken care of with the Holy Father, you can ask him to find you a suitable husband. It shouldn’t be hard, given your status and innocence."

I sighed, and handed the handkerchief back to her. 

Behind Sancia, Cesare peered curiously into the room. It was obvious that he had been eavesdropping; I presumed for most, if not all of our conversation.

I turned my attention back to her.  
“I fear, dear Sancia, that my innocence is no longer intact, making me a much less suitable bride.”

  
  



	11. La Danza (The Dance)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've all had those moments when the wine becomes a little too.... Overpowering.

There was no correspondence. No reconciliation. No mention or sight of Cesare anywhere. It was as if the walls of the Vatican were protecting me from him.  
The days grew into weeks, and the weeks into a month or two… In all honesty, I had no recollection of the time that had passed. It could have been a year, for all I knew. Surely it felt like it.   
Alas, Lucrezia’s son kept me grounded to this earth, and allowed me to know just how much time had passed since his birth. Almost three months to the date. 

I spent almost every day in the Vatican, tending to Lucrezia and the child’s needs. Her child lacked a father, and while I was far from being a father figure, another mother figure in his life would do him good.   
I appeared so frequently that the Holy Father thought it appropriate to grant me my own chambers, right next to Lucrezia’s room, so that I may be near if she were to need me. However generous the gift, I still preferred the solace and peacefulness of my palace. If little Giovanni’s cries got to be too much, I sought the silence of my private sanctuary, quite a distance from the halls of the Vatican. 

And it was the destination I now walked to, within the glorious feeling of the morning air.   
It was typical of me to ride to the Vatican, or at least have an escort accompany me, but every so often I liked to brave the road alone. It was a refreshing feeling, solitude, for I rarely found it since I was attended to so much. 

However, this morning was different. As I entered the property of the Vatican and walked into the square, no soldiers were to be found anywhere, and there was quite a commotion coming from the armoury.  As one does with the intense feeling of curiosity, I strolled over to see what all the commotion was about. 

There were cheers and jests, and men were shouting at an intense level of volume. 

“This is no place for a woman, my lady!” One soldier said as he rushed past me to get a better look at the action.   
Naturally, it was not a place for a woman, especially not a woman of status like myself. However, there seemed to be a fight amongst the soldiers, so I figured I would take a little look and report to the Holy Father or Juan about what I saw. 

I did not anticipate, however, to see Juan himself in the middle of the fight, waving a sword around and grinning and jeering at his opponent.   
And one look at his opponent made me realize why there was such a commotion regarding this fight. 

It was Cesare who dueled Juan, spinning his sword and blocking all of Juan’s blows as they came towards him.  But the blows each of them attempted to make were too harsh, and too close to be that of a friendly duel. There were emotions being released from this fight, and anger was obviously at the forefront. 

I was absolutely shocked; one of them was going to get seriously injured. It was not like I had a close relationship with either brother, but they were still like family to me. I did not wish ill will against either one, no matter how horribly they’ve both treated me. 

“Shall I put a stop to it, my lady?” Micheletto’s voice at my ear sent shivers down my spine. He was such a shadow creature; I never saw him anywhere, only when he chose to reveal himself to me.   
“You must stop them.” I replied, watching each boy get closer and closer to mortal injury. 

Micheletto grunted with approval, and quietly ushered himself into the middle of the fight to stop them, just as Cesare got the upperhand and was mere seconds away from wounding Juan. 

“Now, now. Let’s keep this as a friendly spar, with no  _ real _ injuries. After all, we wouldn’t want to shock any spectators, now would we?”  Micheletto’s glance towards me caused both boys to look back and see me standing in the crowd.   
As Cesare’s eyes pierced mine, I quickly turned and ran from the sight.

It was not my intention for Cesare to see me when I told Micheletto to break up the fight. I simply wanted to keep both Borgia boys safe. But now Cesare knew that I was here, and I knew that he was here, and it was simply not ideal.  He most likely knew that Lucrezia’s room would be the place to find me. 

As I got into the main halls of the Vatican, I found myself out of breath, and I paused in a small corner to regain my energy. 

So Cesare is here. In Rome. And he’s obviously got a lot of pent up emotions that he’s taking out on his brother, but knowing Juan, Cesare’s anger was most likely caused by something Juan said or did, and  _ not _ by my absence. My absence which was really  _ his _ absence.   
There was a clear lack of communication on both our parts, but I also felt as though perhaps we both harbored some unkind feelings towards each other. 

I tried my best to push every thought to the back of my head as I began to walk towards Lucrezia’s chambers. 

Little Giovanni was able to dispel my feelings even more the moment I walked in. He was just too cute, and he was such a carefree and easy going baby. I could only hope that my future children would behave in the same manner. 

“Good morning, dear sis!” Lucrezia yawned as she passed Giovanni to me, taking a well deserved break after a night of parenting.   
“Perhaps ‘good’ is not quite the word to describe it.” I said as I bounced Giovanni softly.   
“Oh? Was it not a pleasant journey here? Perhaps you should have stayed… I surely could have used the help.” Lucrezia yawned once she finished her sentence.   
“‘Twas an interesting journey, that’s for sure.” I mumbled, Cesare’s eyes making their appearance in my mind. Those burning orbs, mad with anger… Desperation. 

I was quite surprised when Cesare’s presence did not grace us that afternoon, or that evening. I was relieved, for I was able to carry on and have a normal day.  I was tempted, for Lucrezia’s sake, to stay the night in my chambers at the Vatican, but I would tempt fate such. I would not give Cesare such a chance. 

I asked for an escort home, only to prevent myself from making the same mistake that I had made on my way that morning. With an escort, I would not wander off the path which I was meant to take.

“He is different, Gia.” 

The bath steam swirled around me as I soaked in the warm water.

“Naturally, my lady, it would seem that time does that to people.”   
I frowned. “His eyes. They are not kind like they were before. They are not soft, but hard. They are not gentle, but angry. They are filled with crazed desperation.”   
Gia shrugged. “Perhaps you caught him at a bad time, my lady. He was, as you say, in the middle of a fight. A fight with his brother.”

I frowned once more. Gia was missing the whole point of the conversation. The fact that Cesare did not look at me as he did before. Surely his eyes would have lightened up the moment that they saw me… If he still viewed me in the same manner he did before… Everything was changed.   
Sleep did not find me. I stared at the ceiling, then at my pillow and blankets, and then at my vanity in the same pattern of procession as the hours wore on, until the sun began to shine through my windows. 

I would be of no use to Lucrezia, but I still did my duty and attended to her that morning. It seemed as though we both had no sleep, though hers was only caused by Giovanni keeping her awake. I had too many things running through my head to close my eyes, and when I did close my eyes… All I could see were Cesare’s harsh eyes. 

Thankfully, for Lucrezia and I, Giovanni loved his day naps, which provided us with time of our own. Lucrezia, of course, took this opportunity to nap along with him, and for once, I was going to do the same. 

I retired to my chambers in the Vatican at midday, and didn’t bother removing any articles of clothing before throwing myself onto the soft bedding.  It swallowed me whole, providing great solace as I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to think of anything  _ but _ Cesare. 

Once again, the walls of the Vatican protected me, and I slept a dreamless sleep for as long as I could before I was awoken by the sound of Giovanni’s cries in the room next door. 

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, anticipating the figure of Cesare standing in the corner of my room, but nothing was there as I awoke fully. It was tranquil. 

I tended to Giovanni as Lucrezia still tried to find sleep.   
“My sis, you mustn’t sleep the day away. Perhaps your child will allow you more sleep tonight than he did last night.”   
Giovanni looked up at me with kind, innocent eyes. He was beginning to become more aware of his surroundings, and it was so pleasant to experience it with him. 

“Oh, all the other mothers make it look so easy,” Lucrezia sat up in bed, her hair all over the place and her dress far more wilted than mine, “It is  _ not _ as easy as it seems.”  
I grinned at her. “Motherhood is never easy, which is why I will wait… Just a little bit longer.” 

Aside from having no husband to give me a child, I also knew that I wasn’t prepared for one. The birth seemed so painful, and now Lucrezia knew no peace. It came temporarily, and could be taken from her at any moment. 

I relished in the silence of my study back at the palace, slumped back in my chair with a book over my eyes. 

“Long day, my lady?”   
I grunted. “Indeed.”   
“Well, perhaps you should focus on your sleep tonight, and rest tomorrow. The Pope intends on having a festival, and you’ve been invited to come to his themed feast. Which Roman mythological figure shall we dress you as…?”   
“Somnus.” I replied in a low voice, sliding the book of my face to reveal the well lit interior of my study.   
Gia scoffed. “ _ Female _ figure, my lady.”  
I frowned, and racked my brain for female Romans.  _ Juno. Minerva. Flora. Venus _ . Surely there would be enough of them running around.  I briefly considered Vesta, though it was too painfully ironic to keep in mind. 

“I don’t know… Salacia?” She was a kind goddess, and less popular, at least to my knowledge. Perhaps there would only be a few Salacia’s at the feast. But then again… Did I really want to stand out?

Gia looked pleased. “Salacia! I shall have your costume and mask made then, my lady!”   
I let her run off with her giddiness, if for no other reason than to return the feeling of solitude in the study.  I really didn’t want to dress up, nor did I want to be a spectacle for Cesare to gaze upon all night - it was no question that he would be there in attendance.   
I would simply have to stick with Lucrezia and her child for the feast, but that greatly increased my risk of having correspondence with Cesare. 

And, once again, sleep did not find me. I knew I needed to sleep, not only tonight but for the next few days, so that I could be well rested for the festival and feast, but perhaps it was a sign telling me that I should  _ not _ attend. I would be too tired. To ill from fatigue. 

But Gia would not let me skip, and I found myself strangely tired for the next few nights. 

“Slipped a little something into your tea. Sometimes, we all need help falling asleep.” Gia commented as she laced my bodice tightly.   
I frowned, but I was thankful. Fatigue was an awful feeling.  “Just don’t slip anything else in there.” I commented as Gia handed me my mask. 

I embodied Salacia perfectly. I didn’t even recognize myself in the mirror as I spun around in my old Roman clothing, and held up the mask to disguise my face.  That meant that there was perhaps a chance that Cesare would not recognize me either… But I wasn’t going to fully take that chance. I had to be totally prepared to see him, and potentially talk to him, if the situation dictated it. 

My heart pounded in my chest as I made my way to the Vatican. The streets were crowded with people celebrating the festival, but not all were as fortunate as I was to attend the feast inside.  My escorts brought me inside, and sat me right next to Lucrezia. Thankfully, Cesare was situated on the other side, far away from us. But I didn’t have little Giovanni to calm me down. Lucrezi had hired a wet nurse, at the request of the Pope, and now I had nothing to ease my nerves.

Nothing except wine, which I downed by the glassful as often as I could. 

As the night moved on, it became increasingly apparent that I should  _ not _ have relied on the wine to keep my nerves at bay, mainly because I now stumbled my way through the course of dances. At the very least, I was keeping Lucrezia entertained, but many other people did not seem too pleased at my inebriation. 

“Perhaps I need some more wine to find my footing.” I joked with Lucrezia as I spun into her arms.   
“Perhaps not, dear sis. Maybe some fresh air? I’ll try to direct you towards the doors.” 

As the music directed, Lucrezia and I spun off in different directions, and I landed in the arms of an unknown dancer. 

“Ugh, you’re drunk, Stefania.”  
Juan Borgia. Known for his bluntness.   
“Not drunk, just tipsy.” I hiccuped as he gazed at me from behind his mask.   
“Same difference.” He scoffed, and he launched me off into the dance floor. 

“You are a sight for sore eyes.” 

My greatest fear. What was he doing on the dance floor? The last I had checked, he was scoping out the ladies by the entrance.  I looked up to see Cesare towering over me. Lucrezia did as she had intended to; I was right by the  _ entrance _ . 

“I am not.” I protested, though my voice sounded meek.  I breathed a sigh of relief when the music dictated that I be switched to a different partner, but as I opened my eyes, I saw that Cesare still had a grasp on me.

“You’re supposed to spin me.” I sighed.   
“Indeed I am. But I would rather spin you and I to the closest wine barrel.”   
I frowned, but could not protest. My mouth was dry, and wine would quench not only my thirst, but also the nerves that were beginning to arise whilst in the presence of Cesare. 

I let him lead me over to the tables, and he quickly fetched a two glasses of wine. 

“So, my lady, who might you be?”  
This wine was meant to be sipped; to be thoroughly enjoyed and savored. But I knocked back the cup in a few gulps, and passed Cesare the empty chalice.   
“Salacia.” I said briskly.   
Much to my surprise, a full wine glass was passed back to me.  
“How ironic.” Cesare muttered, and knocked back the rest of his glass in one go before getting more.  
“Ironic? No, ironic is me considering  _ Vesta _ as my costume tonight.”  
Cesare smirked. “Indeed that is ironic.”  
I drank more wine. “So what is so ironic in your eyes, then?”  
He gazed down upon me, and I looked into his eyes. I couldn’t tell if it was the wine or reality, but they seemed far softer than in the previous week, when he and Juan had been fighting. 

“My costume is Neptune. I’m surprised you hadn’t made that connection yet.” 

Oh. Yeah, pretty ironic. Salacia and Neptune. Neptune had sent a dolphin to find Salacia and bring her to Neptune so that he could marry her. He was madly in love with her… She was not… But learned how to love him thus...

“Ironic.” I said, drinking the rest of my glass.   
“Perhaps some water, my lady.”  
I frowned. “Perhaps not, fair Neptune. Fetch me another glass.” 

There was no point in stopping now. If I wanted to continue conversing with Cesare, I had to keep myself from feeling what I  _ actually _ felt.  Sure enough, he handed me another chalice of wine. 

“I hear you’ve been helping my sister.”  
Oh my goodness. Giovanni.   
“Yes, I have. Giovanni…” I cooed softly, “He’s such a beautiful baby. So well mannered… Well, at least for me. Is he here?”  
Cesare blinked. “At this party?”  
I shook my head. “In the Vatican, you imbecile. Come, let’s find him! I want to cuddle!”

And there went the rest of my wine. Right down my throat, and coursing through my veins. I grabbed Cesare’s hand and dragged him behind me as we swiftly left the party in search of Giovanni. 

“You’re really making me leave my father’s party so that we can hunt down my nephew?” Cesare questioned as we roamed the empty halls of the Vatican. His words contradicted his body language; he seemed more than happy to leave the festivities.  
“Of course,” I hiccuped, “The cutest nephew of them all.” 

We found Lucrezia’s room a short while later, but the wet nurse stopped us from entering more than a few feet within the room. 

“My lady, you are drunk. You’ll wake the baby.”  
I frowned. “Well I just want to see him!”  
She shushed me.  “You may see him tomorrow, as Lady Lucrezia allows.”

I frowned again as she ushered Cesare and I out of the room and shut the door on us.  
“How terribly rude.” I said, crossing my arms and pouting.   
“All this way for nothing.” Cesare said. 

I stumbled forward and opened the door into my chambers.  “Not quite for nothing. I shall retire for the evening. It will be too much of a hassle to go all the way back to my palace.” I said, twirling around the room with a smile.   
“I fear Salacia may have had a little too much sea water this evening.” 

I laughed. “Good one, Neptune. But I am perfectly content. After all, it allowed me the courage to talk to  _ you _ .”  Oops. Stefania, just quit while you’re ahead. Dismiss him for the night and stick to your morals. 

“And why would you require such courage to speak to  _ me _ ? Do I intimidate you that much?”  
It was too late. This was not Stefania’s body as much as it was Salacia’s, and she was quite pleased to have her Neptune back. 

“Indeed. I find your harsh eyes scary. I much prefer the gentle ones I knew… Before…”   
Cesare removed his mask to expose his entire face, now with much more soft features than I had seen in the armoury.   
“Are mine eyes truly that harsh?” He questioned, coming closer to me.  
“I’m afraid I cannot tell if they are actually gentle, or if the wine is making me think thus.”   
“Shall we, my dear Salacia, find out if they are?” 

My heart raced in my chest as I stood frozen to my spot as Cesare’s hand caressed my face, and his thumb parted my lips.   
The wine had not prepared me for this, but it somehow decided to answer for me, as I gently kissed his thumb. 

“I suppose, dearest Neptune, that we should.”


End file.
